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[personal profile] defrog
Who said it: Donald Trump or Cliff Clavin from Cheers?

1. Cows were domesticated in Mesopotamia and were also used in China as guard animals for the forbidden city.

2. The smartest animal is a pig. Scientists say if pigs had thumbs and a language, they could be trained to do simple manual labor. They give you 20-30 years of loyal service and then at their retirement dinner you can eat them.

3. I wonder if you know that the harp is a predecessor of the modern day guitar. Early minstrels were much larger people. In fact, they had hands the size of small dogs.

4. Everyone is the Swiss Army owns a Swiss Army Knife. That's why no one messes with Switzerland.

5. If you were to go back in history and take every president, you'll find that the numerical value of each letter in their name was equally divisible into the year in which they were elected. By my calculations, our next president has to be named Yellnick McWawa.

6. The umbilical chord is 90% postassium.

7. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine; which is why you always feel smarter after a few beers."

8. Due to the shape of the North American elk's esophagus, even if it could speak, it could not pronounce the word lasagna.

9. Speaking of sweat, here's a little known fact: women have fewer sweat glands than men, but they're larger and more active. Consequently they sweat more.

10. Early cavemen, they went out and hunted for the very food that graced their simple table. The women stayed in the cave and developed art, culture, what-have-you. Men down through the centuries have always been hunters, doers, adventurers. Cogito, it is not in man's nature to sit alone and be passive and docile.

11. With the recent strides in genetic engineering, I mean, we'll soon be faced with the possibility of producing enormous farm animals to feed the hungry millions. Now imagine one cow to feed an entire city, one egg making an omelette for an entire family. Yeah, I mean with the advances we're making today, the future is unlimited.

12. There are many theories as to why the Florida orange is far superior to it's California counterpart. I personally think it's the trace mineral elements in the Floridian water. That's obviously due to the frequency of typhoons in the nitrogen rich alligator guano.

13. Well, it's not really later in Florida. It's a popular misconception. It's Eastern Standard Daylight Time down there too. Speaking of time, boy it really stops still when you're in the Everglades. They've got huge gators, you know gators are, what we who are familiar with Florida call alligators. Yeah, they got huge gators and giant crocs. You all know what a croc is? Well, the first morning there was crystalline as I was stepping onto the hydrofoil. The captain, Bill Bob Dupree, I think his name was, asked me not to bring the beach umbrella, well, cause it got caught in the prop on the way out.

14. The word Florida comes from the language of the Okie Canokie Indians and it means, literally, place where the old people come to sweat.

15. Many scientists believe that the little finger, that's the pinky, léger de main, will one day, like the tail, disappear, you know, because it serves no purpose.

16. It's a common belief that the Tyrannosaurus Rex was the king of the dinosaurs, you know, as indicated by the palativesaurus. The smartest of the spiny reptiles was actually the Peapatroid.

17. Billiards was invented by the ancient Venetians, and it gained popularity after a group of Benedictine Monks invented felt.

18. Well, you know however, this much is true, you know there's been recent sightings of human beings being shot up into the underbelly of alien spacecraft. You know, and speaking of the Bermuda Triangle, it's not technically a triangle. It's a trapazeedarhomboid, perfect for attracting Martian spacecraft.

19. Topless waitresses – scientific fact – they can deliver drinks faster than their clothed counterparts.

20. Yorkshire Pudding was invented in the late 1770's during a beef shortage. A person could be given a little bit of beef and soak up the gravy with the pudding thereby fooling his stomach into thinking he was having a fuller dinner than he actually was.

Think before you answer,

This is dF
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