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AND THE 2010 LITERARY BAD SEX AWARD GOES TO ...
Rowan Somerville, for gratuitous use of nature metaphors:
The judges were also impressed by his description of pubic hair "like desert vegetation following an underground stream", and using the image of a butterfly collector like so: "like a lepidopterist mounting a tough-skinned insect with a too blunt pin he screwed himself into her".
There is controversy, as Alistair Campbell was a favorite to win until he went around saying he hoped he’d win.
Which disqualifies me from future contests, I suppose, as I’ve been hoping to win the Literary Bad Sex Award for years.
Which is disappointing, I can tell you.
That said, I write bad sex scenes for fun, not awards. So it’s probably as well.
Lick my decals off baby,
This is dF
"He unbuttoned the front of her shirt and pulled it to the side so that her breast was uncovered, her nipple poking out, upturned like the nose of the loveliest nocturnal animal, sniffing the night. He took it between his lips and sucked the salt from her."
The judges were also impressed by his description of pubic hair "like desert vegetation following an underground stream", and using the image of a butterfly collector like so: "like a lepidopterist mounting a tough-skinned insect with a too blunt pin he screwed himself into her".
There is controversy, as Alistair Campbell was a favorite to win until he went around saying he hoped he’d win.
Which disqualifies me from future contests, I suppose, as I’ve been hoping to win the Literary Bad Sex Award for years.
Which is disappointing, I can tell you.
That said, I write bad sex scenes for fun, not awards. So it’s probably as well.
Lick my decals off baby,
This is dF