defrog: (Mocata)
defrog ([personal profile] defrog) wrote2013-05-24 10:35 pm

NOTES FROM A TOKYO CONFERENCE ROOM

I am back from Tokyo.

I was there for a conference. I got bored. So my note-taking got a little sidetracked.

Sample page:

Talk slowly please …

And now, the Eagles perform “Desperado”. Yes, again …

Rugby! Zippers! Amway! Data centers! Number Six! Augmented reality! Facial recognition cosmetics! Bon Jovi! Adele! LOTS of Adele!

How do I stay awake? Easy – I pretend the panel is actually Traci Lords, Catherine Bach, Judy Landers and Kitten Natividad. Yes, my questions get off-topic. Can’t be helped.

Sing with me! “Tetsuwan Atomu! Tetsuwan Atomu! Tetsuwan Atomu! Tetsuwan Atomu!”

Everyone gets a bento box! F*** YEAH BENTO!

Eliminate the buddy system! Every crumb for himself! It’s what Ayn Rand would have wanted.

When things start to fall apart, have an exit strategy. You don’t want to be here when the whole shithole goes up. Sterno!

I am not an investment banker. I am a tax collecter. That way people like me more.

Who turned off the AC? SABOTAGE! Where are the elevators? ELEVATOR CAMOUFLAGE!

Leave the receivers where they are. Turn them off – they’re as radioactive as an old joke.

Our building is so earthquake-proof you won’t even know there’s a natural disaster going on outside unless you look out the window.

Wet bulb! Dry bulb! Evaporator pad! Recirculative cooler! Blower!

Blower? I hardly know her. HEYOOOOOOOO!

DC consolidation – restructure Congress, White House and Supreme Court into a single building with three offices: one for each branch. Think of the savings! At least $138m a year! SMALL GOVT!

And so on.

Wake me when it’s over,

This is dF



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