Entry tags:
I HAD TOO MUCH TO DREAM LAST NIGHT (BUCKETS OF BLOOD EDITION)
The bride and I are watching/participating in a live action film version of an anime series with three main characters who, for some reason, go around setting off “flood bombs” in buildings. They set off a bomb in a CitySuper and from the outside of the building we see water start pouring out of the windows until the streets are flooded with water at least a meter deep.
KT is unimpressed with the characters – one of them can turn his feet into Tiger Feet and kick people with them. “Big deal,” says KT. “Anyone can kick people in the face.”
Shift: I am staying in a five-star resort, in a ground floor suite by the pool. It’s 3:00am but there are still some guys hanging out by the pool talking and drinking outside my picture window. Soon one of them walks to the sliding glass door leading to the pool, opens it and comes in. I’m aware that this man is somehow financing my trip, so I put up with it. He acts friendly, asks me how I like the room, etc, but there’s a bit of quiet menace behind it – he wants it made clear that he’s in charge here and can kick me out whenever he wants.
He tells me he’s planning a business trip to a large lake nearby, and he wants to hire me to fly some of his clients out there. I’ve heard of the lake, and I know that it’s restricted airspace because it’s prone to spontaneous and unpredictable typhoons. It’s like a local version of the Bermuda Triangle. I point this out, and he advises me not to worry about that. “The weather’s no problem – that stuff about typhoons is just a cover story to keep people out.”
“Cover for what?” I ask.
“Weapons testing.”
“So yr clients are …”
“It doesn’t matter what they are. All that matters is that you fly us out there.”
I don’t think he’s giving me much choice, so I agree.
The scene shifts to the lake, where we are watching this weapons testing. The “weapons” are sort of like self-assembling nanotech swords. Touch a button and suddenly yr holding a spiky double-bladed Claymore, for example. Touch another button and out springs a buzzsaw attachment. Or it turns into a high-powered automatic projectile weapon that shoots circular saw blades.
Two teams of Japanese soldiers are testing them out. It supposed to be a training exercise for demo purposes only, but soon it goes horribly wrong. For a start, at least some of the soldiers are clearly insane, attacking anything that moves. Also, none of them have been trained on the weapons, so they’re basically figuring them out by trial-and-error – the result being they're killing as many of their own team members as members of the other team.
And they are doing so in spectacular fashion, literally butchering each other like meat – faces sliced off, heads split in half, blood and bone flying everywhere. It’s like watching a torture-porn film with the most realistic gore effects ever created, and one that consists of nothing but over-the-top gore and men screaming for 90 straight minutes. I have to close my eyes because I’m powerless to stop any of it.
Shift – I am back at the airport and ready to catch my flight back home. I steal a name badge of some kind that will get me on an earlier flight because I am so ready to go home. A woman walks alongside me and identifies herself as an agent of some kind. I think she wants to ask about the weapons testing, but actually she wants to ask about the flood bombs – what I saw and what I know. I tell her I thought it was only a movie.
Shift – I am on the plane and end up watching some reality show featuring some cult family in the South. They buy kittens for the kids and I worry for their safety because these people don’t look capable of raising pets responsibly.
As if to prove my point, they are sitting around a picnic table with hunting rifles, and one of them starts pointing it randomly, pretending to pull the trigger, making “bang bang” noises. He points it at a guy named Arnie (who looks like Paul Dano) just as he’s lighting a cigarette.
BANG! Half of Arnie’s head comes off.
A subsequent investigation by the narrator reveals that the rifle never went off – it was a faulty lighter that just happened to explode at the time the guy pointed the gun at him.
“Poor Arnie,” the dad says. “Always said cigarettes would kill him. Didn’t figure it’d be that spectacular.”
And then – thankfully – I woke up.
Make it stop,
This is dF
KT is unimpressed with the characters – one of them can turn his feet into Tiger Feet and kick people with them. “Big deal,” says KT. “Anyone can kick people in the face.”
Shift: I am staying in a five-star resort, in a ground floor suite by the pool. It’s 3:00am but there are still some guys hanging out by the pool talking and drinking outside my picture window. Soon one of them walks to the sliding glass door leading to the pool, opens it and comes in. I’m aware that this man is somehow financing my trip, so I put up with it. He acts friendly, asks me how I like the room, etc, but there’s a bit of quiet menace behind it – he wants it made clear that he’s in charge here and can kick me out whenever he wants.
He tells me he’s planning a business trip to a large lake nearby, and he wants to hire me to fly some of his clients out there. I’ve heard of the lake, and I know that it’s restricted airspace because it’s prone to spontaneous and unpredictable typhoons. It’s like a local version of the Bermuda Triangle. I point this out, and he advises me not to worry about that. “The weather’s no problem – that stuff about typhoons is just a cover story to keep people out.”
“Cover for what?” I ask.
“Weapons testing.”
“So yr clients are …”
“It doesn’t matter what they are. All that matters is that you fly us out there.”
I don’t think he’s giving me much choice, so I agree.
The scene shifts to the lake, where we are watching this weapons testing. The “weapons” are sort of like self-assembling nanotech swords. Touch a button and suddenly yr holding a spiky double-bladed Claymore, for example. Touch another button and out springs a buzzsaw attachment. Or it turns into a high-powered automatic projectile weapon that shoots circular saw blades.
Two teams of Japanese soldiers are testing them out. It supposed to be a training exercise for demo purposes only, but soon it goes horribly wrong. For a start, at least some of the soldiers are clearly insane, attacking anything that moves. Also, none of them have been trained on the weapons, so they’re basically figuring them out by trial-and-error – the result being they're killing as many of their own team members as members of the other team.
And they are doing so in spectacular fashion, literally butchering each other like meat – faces sliced off, heads split in half, blood and bone flying everywhere. It’s like watching a torture-porn film with the most realistic gore effects ever created, and one that consists of nothing but over-the-top gore and men screaming for 90 straight minutes. I have to close my eyes because I’m powerless to stop any of it.
Shift – I am back at the airport and ready to catch my flight back home. I steal a name badge of some kind that will get me on an earlier flight because I am so ready to go home. A woman walks alongside me and identifies herself as an agent of some kind. I think she wants to ask about the weapons testing, but actually she wants to ask about the flood bombs – what I saw and what I know. I tell her I thought it was only a movie.
Shift – I am on the plane and end up watching some reality show featuring some cult family in the South. They buy kittens for the kids and I worry for their safety because these people don’t look capable of raising pets responsibly.
As if to prove my point, they are sitting around a picnic table with hunting rifles, and one of them starts pointing it randomly, pretending to pull the trigger, making “bang bang” noises. He points it at a guy named Arnie (who looks like Paul Dano) just as he’s lighting a cigarette.
BANG! Half of Arnie’s head comes off.
A subsequent investigation by the narrator reveals that the rifle never went off – it was a faulty lighter that just happened to explode at the time the guy pointed the gun at him.
“Poor Arnie,” the dad says. “Always said cigarettes would kill him. Didn’t figure it’d be that spectacular.”
And then – thankfully – I woke up.
Make it stop,
This is dF