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I HAD TOO MUCH TO DREAM LAST NIGHT (BRAIN SALAD SURGERY EDITION)
I am watching a Monty Python documentary that is giving a detailed history of the evolution of the Silly Walks sketch. This somehow evolves into a film featuring a mad scientist in a castle who is developing very elaborate (and sharp) edged weapons. He demonstrates one such weapon by throwing it at a henchman. His arm comes clean off at the shoulder.
Scene shift: I am now in the same film, and in the same room as the scientist. When the henchman loses his arm, I decide it’s time to leave. On my way out, the mad scientist throws another weapon at another henchman, cutting off the top of his skull. Then he targets me, and I feel something hit my head. There’s not much impact, and no pain, but I know that he has just cut off the top of my skull as well.
I know this because I can feel the air blowing on my brain. It’s pretty amazing, but I’m pretty sure it means I’m going to die.
I leave the castle and walk along the moat toward the front entrance. I was supposed to meet KT after the meeting with the scientist. I call her and tell her I may not be able to make it because I’ve just had the top of my head sliced off.
“How?” she asks.
“Mad scientist,” I explain.
“It’s really sliced off?”
“Yep. I can feel the air on my brain. I don’t think it’s survivable.”
“Don’t worry,” says KT, “I’ll call Crista. She’ll help.”
Crista is the pastor at KT’s church, and I'm not sure how she can help me at this stage. But I say “Ok,” and hang up. Then I fall into the moat. I feel the water enter my head, and I figure this is the end.
Scene shift: I am vaguely aware of a team of people pulling me out of the water and transporting me to a mysterious-looking church. The exterior is black, outlined in red, with four spires of different heights. It looks like something you'd see in a Samurai Jack cartoon. I don’t remember anything about my time inside, but the implication is that they healed me.
Scene shift: I am in an apartment, preparing to go to the airport to catch a flight. There is a knock on the door. I open it to find a woman. She comes in, and as she talks, I realize that I’m a freelance spy of some kind, and she’s my contact with the agency.
I give her the business cards of some people I met during my business trip. “These are the ones you’ll need to keep tabs on,” I tell her.
“Any idea what they’re after?” she asks.
“No, but they’re clearly after something, and they think I know what it is or how to get it.”
She nods. “Okay. Come with me, I’ll show you what we’ve prepared.”
She leads me to another apartment, and starts to give me a tour. “Everything has been arranged,” she says. “The entire apartment is clean, so the only fingerprints or DNA samples they find here will belong to you.”
“Too clean,” I observe. “There’s no clothes or belongings here – it doesn't look lived in.”
“Leave that to us,” she says. “We’ve arranged for clothes and various items to be placed here. It will look tidy but lived in.”
I nod. The point of this set-up is to provide me with an apartment that matches the address printed on my business cards. Anyone who decides to rumble this apartment while I’m gone will find only what we want them to find. The woman adds that if my current mission goes well, I will actually live in this apartment when I return, and use it as part of my cover.
As I leave for the airport, I find myself remembering the mysterious red/black church. It’s only then that I also remember what happened with the mad scientist. I start to wonder just how I was healed, and if that’s the reason I’m a spy now.
And then I woke up.
New world man,
This is dF
Scene shift: I am now in the same film, and in the same room as the scientist. When the henchman loses his arm, I decide it’s time to leave. On my way out, the mad scientist throws another weapon at another henchman, cutting off the top of his skull. Then he targets me, and I feel something hit my head. There’s not much impact, and no pain, but I know that he has just cut off the top of my skull as well.
I know this because I can feel the air blowing on my brain. It’s pretty amazing, but I’m pretty sure it means I’m going to die.
I leave the castle and walk along the moat toward the front entrance. I was supposed to meet KT after the meeting with the scientist. I call her and tell her I may not be able to make it because I’ve just had the top of my head sliced off.
“How?” she asks.
“Mad scientist,” I explain.
“It’s really sliced off?”
“Yep. I can feel the air on my brain. I don’t think it’s survivable.”
“Don’t worry,” says KT, “I’ll call Crista. She’ll help.”
Crista is the pastor at KT’s church, and I'm not sure how she can help me at this stage. But I say “Ok,” and hang up. Then I fall into the moat. I feel the water enter my head, and I figure this is the end.
Scene shift: I am vaguely aware of a team of people pulling me out of the water and transporting me to a mysterious-looking church. The exterior is black, outlined in red, with four spires of different heights. It looks like something you'd see in a Samurai Jack cartoon. I don’t remember anything about my time inside, but the implication is that they healed me.
Scene shift: I am in an apartment, preparing to go to the airport to catch a flight. There is a knock on the door. I open it to find a woman. She comes in, and as she talks, I realize that I’m a freelance spy of some kind, and she’s my contact with the agency.
I give her the business cards of some people I met during my business trip. “These are the ones you’ll need to keep tabs on,” I tell her.
“Any idea what they’re after?” she asks.
“No, but they’re clearly after something, and they think I know what it is or how to get it.”
She nods. “Okay. Come with me, I’ll show you what we’ve prepared.”
She leads me to another apartment, and starts to give me a tour. “Everything has been arranged,” she says. “The entire apartment is clean, so the only fingerprints or DNA samples they find here will belong to you.”
“Too clean,” I observe. “There’s no clothes or belongings here – it doesn't look lived in.”
“Leave that to us,” she says. “We’ve arranged for clothes and various items to be placed here. It will look tidy but lived in.”
I nod. The point of this set-up is to provide me with an apartment that matches the address printed on my business cards. Anyone who decides to rumble this apartment while I’m gone will find only what we want them to find. The woman adds that if my current mission goes well, I will actually live in this apartment when I return, and use it as part of my cover.
As I leave for the airport, I find myself remembering the mysterious red/black church. It’s only then that I also remember what happened with the mad scientist. I start to wonder just how I was healed, and if that’s the reason I’m a spy now.
And then I woke up.
New world man,
This is dF