The devil you know,

This is dF

Everything about this just screams WRONG WRONG WRONG.

So of course now I'm making you look at it.



And people ask me why I lost the faith.

PRODUCTION NOTE: Also, is it just me or does Jesus look like Kenny Loggins?

Born to be bad,

This is dF

HANDY HOUSEHOLD TIP: In case yr ever in a situation where you must defeat Satan in a rock contest, be sure you have the following items:

1. A guitar

2. A wah-wah pedal

3. The chords to “Smoke On The Water”.



Excellence in the face of Rock,

This is dF

The news about the Great BP Oil Disaster of 2010 gets more grim every day, especially if you live there.

Apparently it’s even worse than that.



From the “Coast To Coast AM with George Noory” site:


It figures, doesn’t it?

From Hell,

This is dF

Via vintage_ads :



FUN FACT: I never liked Pork And Beans as a kid, and didn’t know a single kid who did. It was the “pork” that threw me off.

That’s not pork,

This is dF

ITEM: UK rock magazine Metal Hammer is urging heavy metal fans to officially register their faith as ''heavy metal'' while filling in the next Census questionnaire.

If the campaign is successful, Saxon frontman Biff Byford will become the proposed faith's ''world metal peace ambassador''.

This is, of course, why Facebook was invented.

I like this idea, if only because heavy metal has everything you need for a religion: good attendance, influence on lifestyle, unswerving devotion, call-and-response choruses, massive sectarianism and a solid merchandising business.

Personally, I think Ronnie James Dio would be a more appropriate choice for world metal ambassador. But he’s currently unavailable. And Saxon was the blueprint for Spinal Tap, so it’s not like Biff hasn’t earned it.

Of course, this kind of thing won’t get Heavy Metal listed as an official religion in the census results. It didn’t work for the Jedi in 2001, so it’s not likely to work now.

However, if it DOES work, they’ll need a name.

I have a suggestion.



Yes, I know, technically it’s taken. But it’s not like Metal Church is using it right now.

Metal gods,

This is dF

Go, Satan, GO!



And so much for 2009, and the 00s in general. I don’t really have much to add to all of the year-end/decade-end wrap-ups and summaries you’ve been seeing and have yet to see. But on the whole, I think we can agree that on the whole, the 00s sucked.

Unless yr a neo-con. In which case the 00s were the best time you’ve had since the 80s – at least up until November 2008, but let’s admit it, even that’s worked out pretty well for the conservatives so far.

( And then he jabbers about the Batshit Reality Schism Decade, blah blah blah ... )

But never mind. I have the usual tools at my disposal to see me through: my iPod, my books, my laptop, my Internet connection, and all of you. Thanks for putting up with me this long, and see you after the ball drops.

Drinking irresponsibly,

This is dF

Because no one said life was fair.



Who’s laughing now,

This is dF

TRICK



( TREAT! )

Stand and feel it loud,

This is dF

Let me go,

This is dF