MORE SENSELESS ACTS OF BLOGGERY

Satan: no longer scary.



[Via Here Kitty]

Color me unimpressed,

This is dF

Continuing our music countdown to Halloween:

A reminder to the kids: it’s not a Halloween party until Satan arrives for a game of “Beat The Beast”.



Winner takes all,

This is dF

I hinted at this in this post, but when it comes to rockinrolls horror films, one of the classics that sticks in my mind is Shock Em Dead. 



Which has Traci Lords in it. As you can see.

The premise is as basic as it gets: loser-guy sells his soul for rock’n’roll and becomes the best heavy-metal guitar player in the world, but has to kill people to maintain his talent.

It’s godawaful low-budget fun, but in some ways it also embodies the absolute worst tropes of heavy metal – namely, the notion that it's not metal unless yr playing solos at ludicrous speeds.

Don’t get me wrong – I’m a big metal fan, and I appreciate the talent it takes to play well, let alone fast. But I’ve never equated speed and virtuosity with musical quality. To me it’s more about showing off for the sake of it.

Like say, playing two solos AT THE SAME GODDAMN TIME.

Like so.



That’s not a fake scene. Michael Angelo Batio – who served as the guitar stunt double for all the guitar-solo scenes – actually does this in concert all the time.

Like so.

I’m not saying showmanship has no place on a rock-concert stage. I’m just not a big fan of musicians who mistake stage flash for substance. When it becomes less about the music and more about showing people how good you are at playing it, I am not impressed.

Look: Frank Zappa can play every bit as fast, but he doesn’t distract you from the actual music he’s playing. Conversely, Dave Gilmour takes his sweet time with a guitar solo, gives it space to breathe, and the results are brilliant. He’s living proof you don’t need to go all squiddly dabbly doo / widdly widdly wee all over a song to blow people away.

It’s all a matter of taste, obviously. And I’m probably biased because I used to get earfuls of pompous lectures from metalhead roommates about how metal is like classical baroque music only, you know, kick-ass. (My response would usually be to play my Black Flag records at full blast at 2am – “Now THAT is kick-ass, you poodle-haired fuckers!”)

And, as I say, I actually liked metal as a music genre. But I hated the pomposity of virtuosity that came with the package sometimes.

Anyway.

Shock Em Dead – I’m sure it’s available on Netflix or something. If not, that’s a damn shame, Jim.

EXTRA CREDIT: For more low-budget heavy-metal horror B-movies (and there are a surprising number of them), Horror News has a nice list.

And yes, Jon Mikl Thor is on it.

If it ain’t baroque don’t fix it,

This is dF

I’ve mentioned before in this series that a lot of the music I listened to in the 70s was out of context. 

For example, I had no idea who Cliff Richard was when he released “Devil Woman”. I knew nothing of his teen-idol days with The Shadows, or the films, or even his religiosity. All I knew was this song sounded spooky and bad-ass.

I was 11. And I’m not saying he was as awesome as Blue Oyster Cult or anything.

But, you know. Minor chords, devil women, etc.

Anyway, it’s a great song.




Evil on her mind,

This is dF

I have no idea who Pentagram Sam is.

But he just got pwned by this guy. I think.



[Via Coilhouse]

Warlock feuds, eh?

Got Satan on speed-dial,

This is dF

Otherwise known as my very efficient and bizarrely dressed secretary, Donna Vargo.



[Via #OSEF]

Here she comes,

This is dF

As some of you may know, the West Memphis 3 – Damien Echols, Jason Baldwin and Jessie Misskelley – are out of jail. For those of you who aren’t familiar with the original case – and why it’s controversial enough for Henry Rollins, Eddie Vedder and Steve Earle to step in – you can get up to speed here.

I’ve been following the case for awhile now, and based on what I know about it, I tend to side with the WM3, not least because most of the evidence of their guilt comprised (1) a flawed (and allegedly forced) confession from one of the defendants who later recanted, and (2) the WM3 wore black t-shirts, listened to a lot of heavy metal, read a lot of Stephen King and were practitioners of Wicca.

That second bit is a detail that should be highlighted a lot more prominently than it has been in the post-freedom coverage, because it’s a direct reflection of where Satanic panic and fear of music can ultimately lead.

I’m biased, of course, since I’m certainly guilty of listening to music that routinely gets blamed for everything from mass murder to teenage masturbation. And it’s worth mentioning I grew up in the South, where every evangelical preacher in town (and there were many) warning of the evils of rock music and backwards masking and The Devil’s hand in all this, and ultimately Tipper Gore’s porn rock hearings in the US Senate.

Also, I once dated a Wiccan. And if I learned anything from that, it’s that Wicca has about as much to do with Satanism as repairing toasters.

So when I hear about cases where three teenage kids get life in jail and/or the death penalty primarily because they were into Wicca and the prosecution not only believes all the bullshit the PMRC used to say about heavy metal, but also considers it sufficient evidence to convict someone in the absence of all other evidence – I tend to see this in a negative light, yes.

Which is why I can't say I’m too happy with the deal that freed the WM3.

In essence, the case was looking at an all-new trial after new DNA evidence failed to place any of the suspects at the scene of the crime. But rather than take that chance – particularly with Echols on Death Row – they copped to what’s known as an Alford plea, in which the defendant pleas guilty without admitting guilt. If that doesn’t make any sense, think of it as saying, “I swear I didn’t do it, but I can’t refute the facts that the prosecution has against me and if I go to trial I’m bound to lose, so I’ll plead guilty, but only to get a lower sentence, not because I’m admitting I did it.”

If that still doesn’t make any sense, welcome to the US legal system.

Anyway, what that means for the WM3 is that they’ve still pled guilty, but can also legally say they never admitted to the murders. But as far as the rest of the world is concerned, they’re still convicted child murderers, so they’re not getting a clean slate out of this. And they can’t even sue the state for wrongful imprisonment.

What’s worse is that as far as the state of Arkansas is concerned, the case is closed. Which means that the real killer(s) are still out there, getting away with it.  

So all up, the WM3 ordeal ends with injustice for all. Three kids get their lives ruined, a brutal killer goes free, and the state of Arkansas gets to use your record collection and non-Christian religious beliefs as enough proof to convict you of whatever. All because some dumb hick lawyers and a gullible media were a-feared of the Satans and the Heavy Metals.

Not that I think the WM3 shouldn’t have taken the deal. That’s their call, and at least they've vowed to find the real killer and clear their names. But you can’t call it justice by a long shot.

Wrong and important,

This is dF

BONUS TRACK: For the record, I first learned about the WM3 via a friend who sent me a few songs off of a compilation called Free The West Memphis Three, the proceeds for which went to their legal defense fund. I bought the CD – it’s in the CD rack in front of me. I recommend it for the music alone.

There’s also this comp of Black Flag covers for the same cause, though I don’t have a copy of that.

[Via Grottu]

This is what the Devil does,

This is dF

It’s a four-day weekend for us in Hong Kong, thanks to the Easter holiday. Which means four days of barely-related-to-Easter posts for you.

Starting with this song that sums up my favorite things about Easter:



Devil bunnies,

This is dF

The following is a Public Service Announcement from Unusual Adult Party Items:



It’s true.

Screamin’ Jay Hawkins knew this better than anyone.



Bless him.

I ain’t lyin’,

This is dF