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[personal profile] defrog
I was sitting in a coach that was taking us from the airplane to the terminal when a man in a suit pulled out a .475 Wildey handgun and announced that he was hijacking us.

He ordered us to take our clothes off. As I got undressed, he proudly showed off the handgun, which in fact was a nailgun made up to look like a real gun. “It won’t kill you, but you still wouldn’t want to be shot with it,” he said, emphasizing the point by firing a couple of nails into an unoccupied seat.

He assured us it wouldn’t come to that, since his demands were reasonable. I looked around the rest of the coach and realized I was the only person to follow his ordered to get undressed.

“Not again,” I thought.

As I was trying to figure out how to get dressed again without looking like an idiot, the bus arrived at the terminal. While we waited, I pulled out my laptop to get some work done. When the hijacker said, “Okay, I’m letting one person off as a sign of goodwill,” the door opened and everyone got off the coach. The hijacker sighed and followed after them. I stayed on the coach catching up on my email.

After awhile, a man tapped me on the shoulder.

“Is it over?” I asked.

“It’s over,” he said. ”I represent the airline insurance company and we’re prepared to offer you compensation for the ordeal.”

“That’s cool,” I said, not having expected this. “What kind of compensation?”

“A million dollars in Amtrak coupons.”

“Now wait just a minute,” I said. “That’s no good to me. Amtrak has limited routes, and anyway I don’t live in the US.”

“Well, look, just sign this waiver first and we can arrange something.”

“Oh no you don’t,” I insisted. “That’s how you got me last time. My wife is an insurance agent. She knows these things.”

“Are you sure? We’re talking one million dollars in train coupons here.”

And then I woke up.

Take it or leave it,

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