IS IT TOO LATE TO RIDE THE CAIN TRAIN?

[defrog]

I don’t know about you, but I’m rather enjoying the one-man entertainment show that is Herman Cain.

No, seriously.

I mean, never mind the singing, the 9-9-9 thing, and his theories on what constitutes a “sissy pizza” (hint: pizza is a meat, not a vegetable, unless yr talking about school lunch pizza).

What knocks me out the most about Cain is his blatant insistence that knowledge of foreign policy – or indeed knowledge of foreign anything – is not a basic requirement to be POTUS because that’s what foreign policy experts are for.

Which is a step up from Sarah Palin’s insistence that being able to see a foreign country from yr house counts as foreign policy experience, and even from George W Bush’s insistence that just because you have no idea who the president of Pakistan is doesn’t mean you don’t know anything about Pakistan or how to deal with it.

And it’s true that what America really wants in a President is someone who only knows what the experts tell him. Like, say, Saddam Hussein totally has WMDs, and taking him out of power will not only be easy, but the locals will love us for it.

Okay, yeah, I’m being a little snotty. But it’s hard not to appreciate the entertainment value of a Presidential candidate who seems convinced that the only qualification Herman Cain needs to be president is being Herman Cain, and can’t for the life of him understand why that isn’t enough for some people.

If I may employ a Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy analogy, Herman Cain makes Zaphod Beeblebrox look unassuming. Put Cain in the Total Perspective Vortex and he’d come out of it singing “I Gotta Be Me”. (But he wouldn’t eat the fairy cake because real men don’t eat fairy cake – they eat meat pizzas.)

Cain seems to be that new (or at least improved) breed of person who – like, say, Sarah Palin or Mike Huckabee – doesn’t run for President in order to be President, but runs for President as a career-builder, or just for the attention. I’m not 100% convinced that Cain even cares if he gets the nomination, so long as it boosts his radio show ratings and his speaking fees.

I could be wrong. And it probably doesn’t matter, since Cain’s mojo seems to be slipping, and arguably only rose in the first place because the Tea Party faction can’t seem to decide who they want to take to the prom (and – like Cain, I don't have the facts to back this up – but I suspect at least part of the reason Cain has gathered the momentum he has is simply because both Tea Partiers and GOP hardliners like the idea of two black candidates running against each other – partly because it’d be historical, and partly so that they can prove that they don’t hate Obama just cos he’s black – it’s because he’s black and MUSLIM).

But I have to say, it’s almost refreshing to see a candidate expose his own general ignorance about anything that doesn’t involve running a pizza chain and then respond by saying it doesn’t matter – you don’t have to be an expert on something to have an opinion about it and a solution to fix it, and you don’t really need to know anything to do this job. All you need to do is surround yrself with specialists and experts who can tell you what you need to know when you need to know it and which buttons to push.

All of which is technically true.

Of course, it’s always possible that Cain is just kidding. He does that a lot. If that doesn't qualify him to be POTUS, I don't know what does. Who better to lead the Free World than someone who talks in non-sequiturs and you never know whether he's joking or not?

DISCLAIMER: The above ad is not an actual Herman Cain ad. But it should be.

Why so serious,

This is dF