INSERT “D-SIZE BATTERIES” JOKE HERE

ITEM [via Textually]: Writer Adrienne So investigates the scientific possibilities behind developing a bra that can transform the kinetic energy of breast motion into electrical power to keep yr iPod fully charged.

No, really.

How, you ask? Witness the awesome power of science:

Lawson explained that breasts move on three different axes: from side to side, front to back, and up and down. The most motion is generated on the vertical axis. Naturally, the bigger the breast, the more momentum it generates.

"Let's face it—if you're a double-A marathoner, you're probably not going to get that iPod up and running," Lawson said.

Measurements compiled by Lawson and her colleagues show that a D-cup in a low-support bra can travel as much as 35 inches up and down (35 inches!) during exercise, while a B-cup in a high-support bra barely moves an inch.

It is educational, yes?

So’s verdict: thanks to advances in sensor technology that can convert body motion into energy, her idea is technologically possible, though the resulting bra may not be comfortable, or machine washable. Which means, of course, that inevitably, someone’s going to invent one.

It’ll probably be Triumph.

PRODUCTION NOTE: Pictured bra courtesy of the fine folks at Enlighted, purveyor of bras with lights installed in them. For illustrative purposes only.

Now yr playing with power,

This is dF

ONE WORLD, ONE DREAM! (BLACK PEOPLE AND MONGOLIAN PROSTITUTES NEED NOT APPLY)

ITEM: Beijing authorities are secretly planning to ban black people and others it considers social undesirables from entering the city’s bars during the Olympic Games, reports the South China Morning Post.

“Uniformed Public Security Bureau officers came into the bar recently and told me not to serve black people or Mongolians,” said the co-owner of a western-style bar, who asked not to be named.

The local authorities have been cracking down on blacks and Mongolians in an attempt to stamp out drug dealing and prostitution ahead of the Games, the proprietors said.

I can’t verify that this is true. But I wouldn’t be surprised. China has racism issues like anyplace else, exacerbated by the fact that as a society it has no real concept of multiculturalism and has typically valued nationalism over tolerance. That’s changing every day, but as even America has demonstrated, that kind of change doesn’t happen overnight.

Even here in HK – home of Darlie Toothpaste (formerly “Darkie”) – racism is an issue, especially if yr Filipino, Thai or from anywhere in South Asia. Only just last week the govt passed an anti-racism law. They’ve been debating about it for the past ten years. Maybe it’ll do some good. I have my doubts, but I do think it’s important that at the very least the govt should set the example.

We don’t like to talk about these things. No one does, not even in the US, where a surprising amount of people think racism is ancient history. (I grew up in the South, so my perspective is a little different, perhaps.) Which is why sometimes people like to settle for cosmetic solutions – the appearance of social harmony. If we can’t all just get along, maybe we can pretend we do.

That’s how China seems to be approaching its turn on the Olympic world stage. Beijing has to put on its best face for the Olympics, and when yr a totalitarian regime that treats human rights as a punch line, that’s a tall order. Beijing desperately wants this to go well, and they’ll do almost anything to make sure no one ruins it.

Like keeping blacks and Mongolians out of the bars.

To be fair, that rule probably didn’t come straight from Hu Jintao himself. It’s very likely some local old-school police commander trying to do his bit and get a promotion. But then it only takes one idiot to ruin it for everyone.

The bar’s closed,

This is dF