O BABY JUST YOU SHUT YR MOUTH

As you can imagine, Hong Kong is currently decompressing from its two weeks of Olympic Fever. And whatever yr opinion of the games, there’s one thing that we all seem to agree on: the commentators on TVB Jade were mostly rubbish.

I’ll be the first to admit that sports commentary is one of those things that few people do really well. Not everyone can be Jack Buck, Harry Carey or Howard Cosell. And the Olympics is especially challenging for sports broadcasters who could call a basketball game by phoning it in from home, but have trouble with sports that they’re not familiar with and rely on mysterious qualitative scoring.

So naturally, TVB decided to send a pack of TV drama/pop stars, most of whom don’t know a thing about sports, with the exception of Alex Fong (who actually used to be a competitive swimmer) and possibly Carol Cheng (who has no sports background but at least bothered to read and learn the background and research material the IBC gave all broadcasters before the event).

People have complained, yes. Okay, some were complaining that the Olympics was cutting into Moonlight Resonance (the current hot Shouting Family drama). But still, hopefully TVB will rethink its "Good looks and fame are the only qualifications you need to do anything on TV" policy. To be fair, some were better than others, but most of it was either blatant cheerleading or inane rambling. Seriously, it was the equivalent of hiring Jessica Simpson to host Monday Night Football. Or replacing Tim Russert with Adam Sandler.

No surprise. Hong Kong has never been much of a sports town, apart from horse racing football, and that’s mainly because you can bet on them. It says a lot that the Olympic sports that got priority coverage were the ones that you can play in a rec center: namely, ping pong and badminton.

But who am I to be critical? I’m not much of a sports person either. I only saw as much Olympics as I did by passive viewing – I just happened to take time off when it started, and then sickness and typhoons ensured I was home for the rest, and my mother-in-law had the Olympics on constantly because there was nothing else on TV.

Anyway, it’s over now, except for the Paralympics, which starts in two weeks, and as usual, no one will care, so it amounts to the same thing. Now we’ll wait for the inevitable realization that China still jails dissidents and censors the media, and the usual post-games scandals where we find out that Usain Bolt drank a crate of Red Bull before each race, Liu Xiang was blackmailed by the Triads to fake an injury, and Michael Phelps was actually bioengineered in a secret govt facility in New Mexico as a new breed of marine superweapon.

London calling,

This is dF

PRODUCTION NOTE: The above photo is from Stern, a German web site that has an awesome collection of 150 photos from the Olympics. They range from artistic to borderline NSFW, but it’s an LOLympics site waiting to happen. If you have half an hour that needs killing, this is what you want.

BECAUSE YR NEVER TOO YOUNG TO BE A CORPORATE FELON

ITEM: Two sisters, aged 11 and 3, open a fruit/vegetable stand on a residential street corner – and are shut down by the cops after someone complains to the mayor’s office.

The official reason: the stand causes traffic problems, and is also a violation of residential zoning laws.

Clayton Mayor Gregg Manning explains why it’s important to enforce the law no matter what:

"They may start out with a little card-table and selling a couple of things, but then who is to say what else they have. Is all the produce made there, do they make it themselves? Are they going to have eggs and chickens for sale next?”

Yes. Imagine the horror.

He has a point. When I was nine, my sister and I started a Kool-Aid stand to raise some cash. By sundown, we’d put Kroger’s out of business. And remember the spiraling inflation of the early 70s? That was us. Our bad.

For more information on how American childhood has evolved into a “no fun allowed” zone where everything is illegal or bad for you, see this column from the LA Times on the death of the term “go out and play”. It asks a very good question: is America really a more dangerous place than it was when we were kids, or are parents simply more afraid?

Personally, I suspect the latter, but then I don’t have kids. Those of you who are actually parents, I’d be interested in yr thoughts on this.

Let’s blow this pop stand,

This is dF