SNAKES FIGHT MONKEYS ON PLANES ... APPARENTLY

Yr new favorite reason to hate the motherfucking FCC: watch as the motherfucking network censors at FX figure out how to make Samuel L Jackson safe for America’s motherfucking television sets.

If you didn’t catch it:

“I’ve had it with these monkey-fighting snakes on this Monday To Friday plane.”

And thus does the FCC continue to force networks to insult the intelligence of every man, woman and child in America.

EPIC MOTHERFUCKING FAIL, as the kids say.

I’ve never liked TV-friendly versions of movies because of the edits and dubbed-over words, but if yr going to do it at all, for the love of God please do it in a way that makes at least a modicum of sense. I have very basic editing skills, but I can think of at least three or four ways to edit that clip without resorting to the most idiotic dub ever.

I don’t have kids, but if I did, I’d just as soon they hear Samuel L Jackson say “motherfucker” as nature intended than something this lame. Especially since it's the one line in the film that Sam Jackson fans demanded be stuck in the movie somewhere.

That said, I’d rather network television just stop showing theatrical movies with any rating above G, and stick with shitty made-for-TV movies based on a true story instead of shredding what’s left of American cinema. Leave the decadent decline of American values to the professionals at HBO and Cinemax.

Dumbed down,

This is dF

GOTTA HIT THE ROAD

An argument could be made that the music scene only needs one blues-inspired duo with a female drummer.

Making the case against that argument: Joe Gideon and The Shark, performing “DOL” for yr pleasure.

The White Stripes comparison is obvious on paper, but musically I think Joe Gideon and The Shark (who cut their teeth in Bikini Atoll) are closer to Archie Bronson Outfit (who actually directed this video) – less bombast, more derdang, and slightly surreal. (They’ve touring with Nick Cave and Seasick Steve if it helps – and based on this evidence it’s a good fit without copying either Nick or Steve.)

However you describe it, “DOL” has been getting repeat listens from me. If the album ever gets to these shores, I may just have to buy it.

Daughter of a loony,

This is dF

THREE WORDS: YOU’RE KILLING SPONGEBOB!

Welcome to my Earth Day post.

I don’t recognize the authority of Earth Day for a couple of reasons.

One: as Bill Maher said two Earth Days ago, every day should be Earth Day.

Two: when you consider that the people of the world’s most powerful nation spent eight years electing to positons of power and responsibility Republicans who argued then (and argue to this day) that C02 is harmless because humans exhale it, that without C02 plants will starve, and in any case man can’t possibly destroy the Earth because the Bible says so, it’s entirely possible we all deserve to drown.

Okay, not all of us. I'm just saying the Ark should have a guest list and Jason Statham should be hired to enforce it. Which will be awesome when Chuck Norris shows up.

Anyway, that’s why for my money the best way to celebrate Earth Day is to (1) celebrate it year-round and (2) watch Lewis Black make fun of it.

Only you can save mankind,

This is dF