TASER YR CHILD AT WORK DAY

ITEM: During "Take Our Daughters and Sons to Work Day" at the Franklin Correctional Institution in Florida, Sgt. Walter Schmidt wanted to give the kids an idea of what their parents do.

So he Tasered two of them.

The kids, not the parents.

I'm not kidding.

Schmidt was summarily fired.

HE DOESN’T UNDERSTAND WHY.

To be fair, he claims the parents present said he could. Imagine that exchange.

“Can I Taser yr kids?”

“Weeeeell, I dunno ... I guess the officer knows what he’s doing. Sure, go ahead.”

“Uh, Mom, Dad, I don’t think that’s such a –”

FRRRRRZZZP!

“OH JESUS FUCK AAAAAAGGHHH!”

I’m guessing the parents either thought the stun gun had a setting for kids, or bought the old conservative line that Tasers are perfectly harmless and that’s like being touched with a joy-buzzer – only, you know, about 10,000 times more powerful and can kill you.

This is all Bush’s fault somehow. I just KNOW it.

Don’t Tase me Mom,

This is dF

THAT’S SOME BAD HAT, HARRY

Because you’ve always wanted a hat that could crack someone’s skull.



There's a 'GILLIGAAAN!" joke in there somewhere, but I'm not up to it today.

I like the second user comment:

I haven't had to use it in a real life situation but I tried it out on a tree and started taking off pieces of bark. It could definitely make the difference in a street fight.

Cute. But for $30, I’d prefer a hat with an edge.



Secret weapons,

This is dF

WELCOME TO THE WORKING WEEK, PART 6: AFTER FIVE, IT’S A GAS

We’ve covered a lot of ground on how being part of the working class isn’t much fun.

On the other hand, the sex is great when you get home.

Just ask Oingo Boingo.

The sex at work isn't bad, either – if you work in the office district.

Belle & Sebastian know this.

It’s true.

Not that it’s ever once happened to me. Ever. But I’m it sure it happens all the time. To Other People, I mean.

Who’s the boss,

This is dF