YOU CAN’T SAY THAT IN TMBG

I get email. Sometimes it’s from They Might Be Giants, as I subscribe to their newsletter.

Anyway, in the most recent update, I was interested to learn that TMBG has their own version of Matt Groening’s “Forbidden Words”. It’s called "The List According to Marty Beller" (i.e. their current drummer). It’s a good list. So I'm posting it in full.

Things we are not allowed to say within the band:

too much information
off the hook
that’s what (s)he said
my bad
game changer
crackberry
that’s how we roll
I can’t work under these conditions
playing the (whatever) card
throw under the bus
drinking the kool-aid
LOL
phone tag
don’t go there
it’s all good
it is what it is
talk to the hand
think outside the box
off the reservation
oh no you didn’t
I threw up a little in my mouth
one hundred and ten percent
IMHO
no worries*
jumped the shark
voted off the island
(anything) on acid
(anything) from hell
(anything) on steroids
literally (unless it’s actually used properly)

*No worries enjoys a unique "workplace dispensation" where it can be used with a co-worker to help decompress a work situation.

DISCLAIMER: Team Def does not advocate censorship of any particular word. However, lists like this are handy to help people identify and avoid cliches, so I think they do serve a useful purpose – as long as they’re voluntary, of course.

Watch yr mouth,

This is dF

NETHERLANDS AND BELGIUM TO GO DUTCH ON PRISONS

ITEM: The Dutch justice ministry has announced it will close eight prisons and cut 1,200 jobs in the prison system, due to the declining crime rate, which the ministry's research department expects to continue for some time.

One alternative: filling up the excess capacity by importing prisoners from Belgium, which is facing overpopulation in its prisons.

Not that any of this reflects on the state of the current situation in, say, the US. Far from it.

In fact, in a recession, you need whatever growth industries you can get. Like the private prison industry. Sure, they've taken a beating in the stock market like everyone else with states looking at budget cuts, but with the US prison pop facing an overcrowding rate of 28% by 2012, most market analysts still see private prisons as a serious growth industry.

And that's good for the economy. To say nothing of the judges.

So let the Dutch be all smug about their stupid low crime rates. Feh.

It’s a crime,

This is dF

YOUTUBE SURVIVOR SERIES #62: GO FOR IT, BABY!

And now, apropos of nothing, here’s Uschi Glas singing “Cover Girl”, partially set to footage from her 1968 breakthrough film, Zur Sache, Schätzchen (Go For It, Baby).

Recommended for the sexy corset jailbreak scene and the parade of girls with books balanced on their heads – both of which are prerequisites for cover girl stardom.

Perfect posture,

This is dF

SCI-FI/FANTASY/HORROR FOR PEOPLE WHO HATE SCI-FI/FANTASY/HORROR

ITEM [via jreynolds ]: SF Signal wants to know ...

Q: Which science fiction, fantasy, and/or horror books would you recommend to a friend who has never read those genres before?

An interesting question, but one that, upon reflection, is a tough one to answer. It depends on who yr recommending things to, you see.

For example, what do they normally like to read and why does that not include sci-fi, fantasy or horror?

If it’s for reasons of lit snobbery, I’d just point out that if they like Kurt Vonnegut, George Orwell and William Burroughs, they already read science fiction.

Or let’s say the person “hates” SF but likes, say, mysteries, spy thrillers and war novels. Well, 80% of SF tends to be mysteries, spy thrillers and war novels dressed up with futuristic technology or alternate histories, so that’s a foot in the door.

As for specific recommendations, though, I can’t really think of anything beyond the obvious (Douglas Adams, PK Dick, Stanislaw Lem, Neil Gaiman, HP Lovecraft, etc). I’m especially weak on the horror angle, since I don’t really read much horror. That said, you could always try Pride and Prejudice and Zombies by Jane Austen and Seth Grahame-Smith (though I haven’t read it, so it doesn’t really count as a recommendation). Or you could ...

Oh, the hell with it – I’ll just give them a copy of Warren Ellis’ Crooked Little Vein, which doesn’t neatly fit any of these categories, but blends all three (sort of). If the chapter on Godzilla bukkake porn doesn’t challenge them to expand their literary horizons, they’re beyond help.

Read what you want,

This is dF