A BUCKET FULL OF DUCKS

Since the meat clothing post was kind of a bummer, here’s something to counteract the bad vibes: a bucket full of ducklings.



Better yet, a bucket full of ducklings rescued from a storm drain in Patchogue, NY by a cop.



Hurrah!

AND NOW THE PUNCHLINE:

Good thing the ducks were in Patchogue, NY and not, say, Passaic, NJ.

Quack quack,

This is dF

GIRL IN A COMA: I KNOW, I KNOW, IT’S SERIOUS

I went to buy the new Sonic Youth album last night, and while prowling about the listening stations, I came across a Texas band called Girl In A Coma, whose second album is out now.

I have to say I’m intrigued. It’s not exactly groundbreaking, but not too many people can borrow from The Smiths, Sonic Youth, Sleater-Kinney and (I think) Steve Earle and actually make it sound like anything.

Anyway, Morrissey is impressed.

So is Joan Jett. She and Kenny Laguna saw them play and signed them to Blackheart Records on the spot.

You can listen to the album on MySpace, but they don’t have anything embeddable from it yet. So here’s a single from their first album.

Glorious results of a misspent youth,

This is dF

NURSES, STOOGES AND MONSTERS

If yr not familiar with the art of Niagra Detroit, here’s one good reason why you should be.



Sure, she’s taking cues from Roy Lichtenstein and Raymond Pettibon. But they’re pretty good cues.

There’s more of that available at her official site.

Another reason you should familiarize yrself with Niagra Detroit – she was the lead singer in Destroy All Monsters, whose lineup included Ron Asheton of the Stooges and Michael Davis of MC5.

Here’s a tribute video for their song “Nobody Knows”, with inexplicable but entertaining bonus footage from obscure low-budget horror movies.

Oh nurse,

This is dF

DEAR GOD, PLEASE KILL OBAMA, KTHXBYE

ITEM: Rev Wiley Drake – pastor of First Southern Baptist Church in Buena Park, CA, former vice president of the Southern Baptist Convention and former running mate of American Independent Party presidential candidate Alan Keyes – takes credit for the Dr Tiller shooting, thanks to the power of "imprecatory prayer" in which he prayed for Tiller’s death.

Who’s next on his prayer-death list? Barack Obama, he tells Alan Colmes on Fox News Radio.

"Are you praying for his death?" Colmes asked.

"Yes," Drake replied.

"So you're praying for the death of the president of the United States?"

"Yes."

"You would like for the president of the United States to die?"

"If he does not turn to God and does not turn his life around, I am asking God to enforce imprecatory prayers that are throughout the Scripture that would cause him death, that's correct."

What is imprecatory prayer, you ask?

Part of the Bible, Drake claimed, is imprecatory prayer -- words of judgment in the Psalms prayed back to God -- a practice he said the church has lost.

"This whole concept that we're always to pray little, nice, soft, fluffy, prayers -- that we're not to pray imprecatory prayer -- has been something that just, in all honesty, that Southern Baptists have lost, and we need to regain imprecatory prayer," Drake said. "It is in the Bible, and we are proud to say as Southern Baptists that we believe the Book. You've got to believe the whole Book, brother, or you don't believe any of it."

Sing Oldham, vice president for convention relations with the SBC Executive Committee, says Drake’s views on both imprecatory prayer and using them to ask God to kill people are his own and don’t reflect the SBC.

Meanwhile, Drake also tells Colmes that Obama probably had Tiller assassinated to make pro-life Christians look bad.

“I'm of the opinion that somebody in the Obama camp had this guy killed ... Who benefits the most from this man killing a doctor? We certainly don't. Pro-life people certainly don't. It hurts us. It damages us, but Obama will indeed advance it. This will be one of those crises to take advantage of, and he's already done that."

No further comment necessary, I think.

Man loves, God kills,

This is dF

LARRY HAGMAN NEVER DID THIS

Reasons Al Gore invented the Internet #68,739: So you could watch Patrick Duffy hypothetically entertain the possibility of a threesome with Courtney Cox and a giant crab puppet in an alternate universe.

It was Duffy’s son’s idea, evidently.

There’s a crab on yr couch,

This is dF