HOW TO BUILD A BETTER LIGHTSABER

ITEM: John Scalzi discusses the Star Wars universe – and its poor product design.

Sample entry:

Lightsabers

Yes, I know, I want one too. But I tell you what: I want one with a hand guard. Otherwise every lightsaber battle would consist of sabers clashing and then their owners sliding as quickly as possible down the shaft to lop off their opponent's fingers. You say: Lightsabers can slice through anything but another lightsaber, so what are you going to make a hand guard out of? I say: Dude, if you have the technology to make a lightsaber, you have the technology to make a light hand guard.

The bit about the midichlorian black market is also priceless.

Probably the funniest thing I’ll read today.

Oh, and a warning:

Star Trek fans, don't get smug: I'm going after it next.

Style over substance,

This is dF

BUSINESS MANAGEMENT ADVICE IS THE NEW ROCK’N’ROLL

Like most of you, when I need advice on how to run a successful business, I break out my old 38 Special records.*

So I was amused to see this in the Page One book store the other day.

In JAM! Jeff Carlisi, former lead guitarist and songwriter of 38 Special, tells his own unique story of rising to the top of the charts and the business world, offering one of the most fun, original approaches to team-building and acquired business savvy. Filled with stories of the rock n' roll life, like that of the architect who became a guitar superstar and the multimillion-selling track that almost never was, this is an insider's view to making it big and the pitfalls to avoid along the way. Each chapter examines a key moment in the development of a band—formation, early success, internal crises, falling out of the spotlight—and demonstrates how executives can use those lessons to crank their own businesses to eleven.

I haven’t quite worked out why I find this funny. I mean, strictly speaking, entrepreneurship isn’t just for hip-hop playas. Rock music is is full of stars-turned-entrepreneurs. If Businessweek doing profiles on Gene Simmons’ merchandising strategies and Sammy Hagar’s tequila business isn’t proof enough, look at the people who have started their own businesses on the side, be it record labels (Frank Zappa, Jello Biafra, Greg Ginn, etc), guitar R&D laboratories (Tom Scholz), hot sauces (Joe Perry, Michael Anthony), Web 2.0 companies (Thomas Dolby and that guy from The Presidents Of The United States Of America) or even a bank (David Bowie, though the latter is not without risk).

Still, I don’t think I’ve seen anyone use anecdotes from life on the road in a rock’n’roll band as the basis for how to run a business. Sure, you have to be organized to do a road tour, and you have similar issues like money management, employee motivation and customers relations (insert W. Axl Rose joke here).

But it’s hard to imagine translating that to a non-rock environment. Still, I haven’t read the book, so for all I know Carlisi has some really useful advice for today’s business leaders. Or maybe 38 Special’s road stories translate better to the boardroom than, say, Led Zeppelin’s.

Whatever. I can only hope the results are something like this.

"" (Watch on YouTube)

*DISCLAIMER: I do not in fact have any 38 Special records. Never have. They weren’t really my thing.

Hold on loosely,

This is dF