UNCLE SAM WANTS YOU (OR SOMEONE LIKE YOU)

ITEM [via Danger Room]: More than 75% of America’s 17- to 24-year-olds are automatically disqualified from serving in the military because they’re too fat, too sickly, too dumb, have too many kids, or have copped to using illegal drugs.

“The major component of this is obesity,” Curt Gilroy, the Pentagon’s director of accessions, tells Army Times‘ William McMichael. “Kids are just not able to do push-ups… And they can’t do pull-ups. And they can’t run.”

Which is kind of embarrassing. Obviously.

No wonder the Pentagon wants to switch to a droid army.

Still, I’m sure they can cut that down to 25% by dropping the “drug use” rule.

No jelly donuts in the barracks,

This is dF

CLOWN ON THE EDGE

Who’s laughing now,

This is dF

SEX TOYS LEAD TO USAGE OF SEX TOYS. SCIENCE PROVES IT.

ITEM [via Katie Drummond]: Researchers at Duke University have been recruiting female students for a study in which they would "view sex toys and engage in sexually explicit conversation with other female Duke students."

The object of the study is to not only examine attitudes towards sex toys, but also to gauge the effectiveness of university health centers promoting sex toys as alternatives to “risky sexual behavior and serial promiscuity”. As an incentive, researchers promised participants a “gift bag” and be given the opportunity to purchase items at a significantly reduced rate.

Father Joe Vetter, director of the Duke Catholic Center, is vexed and worried.

“My concern is these students are in this developmental phase, and I don’t think it’s a good developmental practice to just tell somebody to just sit around and masturbate. I don’t think that promotes relationships.”

Well, of course. Everyone knows that once you start masturbating, you lose all interest in dating other people and having sex with them. Just like everyone knows that once yr in a relationship, you don’t need sex toys anymore.

Going blind,

This is dF