I LOVE YOU BUT YR BORING (#1 OF 7): OKAY DOLLFACE, C’MON AND BORE ME

There’s been a lot of talk about this next series. Maybe too much talk.

This series is not an anti-Valentines Day series.

But it occurred to me that this week was going to be bookended by two major multi-million dollar events that I have zero interest in: The Super Bowl and Valentine’s Day. And then I found that Sluggo panel and got to thinking.

So I thought I’d do a music series on boredom, and how (if possible) to avoid it. And while these songs aren’t necessarily the love-song antidotes you arguably need to counter the Valentine onslaught (for that, I recommend bedsitter23 ’s fabulous Plastique Valentine series, currently in progress), maybe they’ll help a little.

Besides, the annual Anti-Valentine Fr0gcast is in post-production as we speak. So, you know, that’s something to look forward to.

To kick of Boredom Week, we start with a mission statement from the Chairman of the Bored: Mr Iggy Pop.

"F - Roddy Piper's Rowdy Hearts Club Band" (Watch on YouTube)

I’m a lengthy monologue,

This is dF

PHOTOGRAPHED IN THREE DIMENSIONS, ACTED IN ONE

Hey kids! This is how yr parents used to enjoy 3D before the likes of Avatar came along.




No one will be seated after the banana scene.

"The Three Stooges - Pie Fight" (Watch on YouTube)

WARNING: The trailer is NSFW (though what you might be doing at work now, I’ve no idea).

Swing low,

This is dF

THE BIGGEST SPORTING EVENT OF THE YEAR IS TODAY

And after running down the vital stats, I’m going to call it for Chicago. Neither team is big on defense, and statistically Chicago has the offense line-up and the air power that’ll eventually decide the game, so barring any major injuries or ...

Hmm, what?

What do you mean Chicago’s not playing this year? Of course they are.

Oh. Sorry. No, I was talking about the Lingerie Bowl.



Who’s going to win the Super Bowl? Hell if I know. I’m not even sure who’s playing besides New Orleans. In fact, I’ll call it for New Orleans because (1) they’re the only team in the game I can name and (2) I’ve been there.

Still, the most important question is whether or not the Lingerie Bowl – which will commence during the SB halftime – can defeat the official halftime act of Super Bowl 44: The Who.

Tough call, seeing as how The Who are down to just two players, and (let’s admit it) have really never gotten their mojo back since Keith Moon died. Plus, there's no guarantee of a wardrobe malfunction ... which is probably a reason they got the gig, though that's not to say The Who aren't capable of stirring up some controversy. They're doing it already and they haven't done the soundcheck yet. (That said, honestly, at this stage in American pop culture I don't think there's anyone left to book that won't offend some group somewhere.)

So in the end, it’s probably going to be a question of (1) disposable income (as the Lingerie Bowl is PPV) and (2) the playlist.

I would hope that The Who go with some unexpected choices, but they’re likely to stick to the classics, if for no other reason than that they’ve only got about 30 minutes – and as they’ve been known to stretch “My Generation” to 15 minutes, I’m not expecting a long set list.

So while I don’t expect to hear, say, “The Acid Queen” or something, I’ll consider it a win if they at least play this.

"Dancing to Captain Beefheart" (Watch on YouTube)

Are you ready for some football,

This is dF