TOPLESS COFFEE SHOP NOIR

ITEM: Remember the Grand View Topless Coffee Shop? The one in Maine that someone burned down last year?

Turns out the jealous boyfriend did it.

Allegedly.

The state fire marshal's office released an affidavit Friday alleging 48-year-old Raymond Bellavance Jr. used gasoline to start the fire in June 2009 because the woman, a waitress, was in a sexual relationship with Donald Crabtree, owner of the Grand View Topless Coffee Shop.

So at least it wasn’t fundamentalists freaked out over boobies. This time.

Progress!

Things we lost in the fire,

This is dF

THE INTERNET IS A SERIES OF TUBES STUFFED WITH CATS, TROLLS AND BATSHIT

ITEM [via drhoz ]: The GOP comes up with a killer idea to boost their chances in the mid-terms – why not use this Internet thing as a forum to let the average American tell them what they want Republicans to do for them?

And it works, except for one thing: the Internet is full of crazy people and smart-asses.

Sample suggestions:

"End Child Labor Laws," suggests one helpful participant. "We coddle children too much. They need to spend their youth in the factories."

"How about if Congress actually do thier job and VET or Usurper in Chief, Obama is NOT a Natural Born Citizen in any way," recommends another. "That fake so called birth certificate is useless."

"A 'teacher' told my child in class that dolphins were mammals and not fish!" a third complains. "And the same thing about whales! We need TRADITIONAL VALUES in all areas of education. If it swims in the water, it is a FISH. Period! End of Story."

Some contributors demanded action to uncover conspiracies involving the 9/11 attacks and the "NEW WORLD ORDER." One forward thinker recommended that we "build the city of the future somewhere in a non-inhabit part of the United States, preferably the desert."

I highly recommend checking out the site. It's full of comedy gold.

All of which is amusing for a couple of reasons:

1. Republicans took the time to hype up their Internet cred whilst promoting the site. "House Republicans have tweeted five times as many as the House Democrats. Leader Boehner has almost five times as many Facebook fans as Speaker Pelosi,” said Rep. Cathy McMorris Rodgers (R-WA).

2. Many of them were submitted by liberals and/or pranksters as a joke. And it’s hard to tell which is which.

Though I’m pretty sure this one is a joke post:

Republicans ... should argue that "BP is creating a new race of faster dolphins. These fish are unable to compete against the fish of other countries, but now their increased lubrication will allow them to fly through the water. Faster fish = good."

Ill communication,

This is dF