PAINTING WITH ANN MARGRET

By which I mean using Ann Margret for a paintbrush.

Good morning. It’s Monday.

Artistic license,

This is dF

OKLAHOMA IS YR FIRST, LAST AND ONLY DEFENSE AGAINST TEH ISLAMZ

ITEM: Oklahoma voters approve a state constitutional amendment that bans the application of Islamic law in court cases, and orders judges in the state to rely only on federal law when deciding cases.

Not that Sharia law was ever a problem in Oklahoma. But that’s what they used to say in New York before it became an Islamic nation.

[Primary amendment author State Rep. Rex] Duncan has said he knew of no precedent in the state's history in which a judge applied Sharia law. But he backed the measure, he told reporters, as a "pre-emptive strike."

Cos you can’t be too careful with a Muslims president in the White House who is so devious he can make it look like his own Islam followers hate him. That’s how devious he is.

And so on. And et cetera.

Anyway, the OK amendment is probably unconstitutional and promises to create a legal quagmire, according to people who actually understand how law works. But that’s how it goes when you legislate out of atavistic fear and/or some cynical ploy to convince yr constituents that they are in Grave Danger and only you can save them.

Good luck with that, Oklahoma.

Court is adjourned,

This is dF

BARBIECAM IS WATCHING YOU MASTURBATE

ITEM: Mattel releases Barbie Video Girl, a Barbie doll with a working embedded digital camera.



The doll, which retails for about $110, has a small LCD screen in her back and the capacity to record 30 minutes of video, which can be transferred to a PC.

Privacy advocates and – strangely – child psychologists are unamused, worried that kids will use them to post all kinds of embarrassing stuff on the YouTubes.

A clinical psychologist, Sally-Anne McCormack, said the doll had the potential to be used unwisely online and called on parents to boycott the product. ''Essentially, it's a hidden camera,'' the mother of four said. ''Children don't look at video clips the way that adults do, and there might be inappropriate shots that they upload onto YouTube.''

You know, the way they don’t do now with cameraphones.

The handwringing is a little overblown, but we are entering an age where almost anything can be fitted with video and communications equipment. Which should make the New Era Of Paranoia even more fun.

Hidden cameras,

This is dF

MCDONALD’S HAMBURGERS: NOT SO SCARY

You know that meme about how McDonald’s hamburgers never decompose, thus proving that they’re really made out of plastic/styrofoam/alien DNA/whatevers?

Turns out there’s a simple scientific explanation for that: the burgers have simply lost all their moisture and turn into dried out bread and beef jerky, says Serious Eats:

The burger doesn't rot because it's small size and relatively large surface area help it to lose moisture very fast. Without moisture, there's no mold or bacterial growth. Of course, that the meat is pretty much sterile to begin with due to the high cooking temperature helps things along as well. It's not really surprising. Humans have known about this phenomenon for thousands of years. After all, how do you think beef jerky is made?

The article notes that McD burgers will rot like any other food under the right conditions: i.e. where moisture is present.

Whether McD burgers are still good for you is another issue. But you can discount the plastic/styrofoam/alien DNA theory, at least.

... Or am I ruining it?

Built to last,

This is dF