“OUR LITTLE WOODSTOCK OF DEMOCRACY”

Guest commentary from Team Def Political Batshit Science Editor, Lucky Bensonhurst.

I was busy unpacking my chrome penguin bookends in the new office when I got a call from Rick Sanchez demanding comment on something called the No Labels movement.

“Look, Rick,” I said, “I’m busy right now, and anyway I’ve never fucking heard of it. In any case, I’ve already told you I made my peace with fucking designer labels years ago. We’re so swamped with fucking logos I barely even notice them –”

“No, no,” he insisted, “No Labels isn’t a consumer movement, it’s a political group formed by Republicans, Democrats and independents to back moderate candidates running against extremists.”

“Very funny, Rick,” I snarled. “Count on you to fall for Keith Olbermann’s fucking practical jokes. The name is the giveaway – any serious political group would come up with a better fucking name! ‘No Labels’, my endangered furry ass! Don’t call this fucking number again until January!”

Turns out he wasn’t making it up:

The group hopes to build a network of citizen activists and establish offices in all 435 congressional districts. Beginning in January, members plan to police the new Congress, calling out lawmakers they think are too partisan and speaking up for those who cross party lines to find solutions. The group says it will not advocate specific policy positions, but will aim to foster a more civil discourse in Washington.

"Welcome to our little Woodstock of democracy here," [former Bush 41/McCain advisor Mark] McKinnon said in his opening remarks to the crowd of about 1,000.

"We're going to call ourselves the radical center, the people who care about results, not rhetoric," said former congressman Tom Davis, a moderate Republican from Virginia.

Ha ha. Radical center. Yes. Good one, Tom.

( Extensive political analysis, or something reasonably close, ensues )

“Woodstock of Democracy”, my ass. Unless you mean a chaotic drug-addled filthy mudpit of well-meaning people hopelessly out of touch with reality. Then maybe.

And Woodstock had Jimi Hendrix going for it.

The defense rests.

– L. Bensonhurst

TWELVE DAYS OF DEF XMAS, PART 12: STUFF MY TURKEY

And finally, on Day 12 of the 12 Days of Christmas ...

It’s Alan Partridge singing that very song. And failing.

PRODUCTION NOTE: Contains camp sexual innuendo and people being punched in the face with turkeys.

Which is about as Christmas-y as it gets at the Def Citadel.

And here you thought I was going to finish up with a Partridge Family video.

Well, I did consider it. But I figured I was pushing my luck, seeing as how I opened with an Osmonds video.

So that’s that. I think next year I’ll stick to the usual alt-Xmas songs.

Ooooh pardon,

This is dF

NICK CAVE IS MEGA AT HOGWARTS

And other things I’ve learned at the movies this week, which I shall review for yr pleasure now.

Skyline
A movie that borrows a lot of visuals from Independence Day, District 9 and Cloverfield to tell the story of an alien invasion as experienced by a small group of annoying people trapped in the penthouse of a high-rise.

Basically it’s another sci-fi film that looks good but is short of ideas and doesn’t really capitalize on the ideas it does have (which include aliens vacuuming people up Rapture-style after hypotizing them with alien light, and the notion that they somehow need our brains to animate their bodies). It doesn’t help that none of the characters are really that interesting. The ending screams “sequel”, but if it ever gets made, I’ll pass.

The Chronicles Of Narnia: Voyage Of The Dawn Treader
In which Lucy and Edmund return to Narnia along with their annoying cousin Eustace to help King Caspian track down seven lords who have gone missing.

Like the Harry Potter films, yr either onboard with the Narnia series by now or yr not. Taken on its own terms, it’s fairly pedestrian Disneyesque fantasy for kids (albeit with Christian allegory). Dull, in other words. Enough said.

Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows Part 1
The fact that they decided to film the final book of the series in two installments is either a blatant move to milk the franchise as much as possible or an admission that the last few films failed to condense the books effectively into 2.5 hours of viewing time.

Either way, it’s hard to fairly review HPaTDH-1 since (1) it ends on a cliffhanger and (2) it only makes sense if you’ve seen the first six (or read the entire series).

In fact, the only reason I felt compelled to write a review of it at all is to highlight the film’s surprisingly gratuitous use of “O Children” by Nick Cave And The Bad Seeds. And how often do I get an excuse to post a Nick Cave song in a movie review post?

When you least expect it,

This is dF

BATMAN SAYS “MERRY XMAS”

By repeatedly punching you in the face.



[Via RetroGasm]

No regifting,

This is dF