I HAD TOO MUCH TO DREAM LAST NIGHT (INVISIBLE DEVO SEX EDITION)

I have invisibility powers, which earns me an invitation to have a threesome with my friend Animal and his girlfriend (whose name I don’t know, only that she’s Italian, as in actually from Italy).

The idea he has in mind is a “clandestine” threesome – which means she and Animal have sex and I “clandestinely” insert myself into the action using my invisibility powers so that she doesn’t know there is a second man in bed with them. Of course, she is in on it, and even if she wasn’t, there’s no way she can’t know I’m there if I’m touching her and fucking her at the same time Animal is. However, this is just part of a complicated role-playing fantasy, where she is making love with one man whilst fantasizing about a second one with them, and the “fantasy” is so intense that she can actually feel that imaginary second man as if he’s there (which of course he is).

So once they get started, I play it in subtle ways – serving as a second pair of hands, helping undress her, sucking her nipples as he gives her the oral sex, lying underneath her with my erection between her breasts as she perches on all fours and Animal takes her from behind, etc.

Later – I wake up in bed to find that Animal and his girlfriend are just getting up as well. The bed is located in a large warehouse studio apartment. There is a stage at the end of the room and Devo is setting up to play a concert there, with the intention of playing their comeback album, Something For Everybody, in its entirety. The band doesn’t look like Devo, but I attribute this to age and some of the original members not being able to make it.

They finish the first song and I applaud, but since it’s just us, Gerald Casale says, “Don’t worry about clapping.” Between and during songs, other people perform magic tricks and conduct audience-participation word games. Animal’s girlfriend is part of the act as a fake “volunteer from the audience”. She assists in a trick I don’t remember the details of, but it required changing into surgical scrubs. There’s also a complicated word game where opponents must decode each other’s anagrams of names of fast food chains.

And then I woke up.

PRODUCTION NOTE: I really do have a friend called Animal. It's a nickname, obviously. Interestingly, the nameless Italian girlfriend doesn’t exist – Animal’s been happily married since the mid-90s, and his wife isn’t Italian.

You can’t see me,

This is dF

WARRANTS FOR GPS TRACKERS = NOT A RULE SO MUCH AS FRIENDLY ADVICE

THE GOOD NEWS: The Supreme Court has ruled that the police shouldn’t slap a GPS tracker on yr car without a warrant.

THE BAD NEWS: Police were actually doing that.

THE OTHER BAD NEWS: The Supreme Court didn’t actually say you must have a warrant to do that. What they said was that sticking a GPS tracker on yr car counts as a “search” as defined by the Fourth Amendment, and that it would be “wise” to get a proper search warrant before doing so.

But the ruling doesn’t say you have to get one. And it doesn’t lay out any qualifications or guidelines for the police to follow in deciding whether they need one. That won’t happen until the next time someone finds a tracker on their car and sues the police all the way up to the Supremes for another ruling.

That won’t be easy, because apparently the Obama admin has been avoiding appealing cases like this, especially in regards to tracking people via mobile phones. According to Wired:

Federal agents track people without a warrant, and in some instances, are slapped down by some district courts for this (in our view and in the view of these district courts) unlawful behavior. But they refrain from taking those losses to the courts of appeals, perhaps because a ruling that they need a warrant would then become the law of the land in the territory of that appeals court, and they want to be able to continue to engage in warrantless cell phone tracking whenever they can.

See what they did there?

Search me,

This is dF