DEÄTHMÜFFIN UPDATE: I DREAMED THEY BEHEADED JAMES BROWN LAST NIGHT ON LETTERMAN

The Banäna Deäthmüffins plan for world domination is well on track, despite the lack of a major label deal, an American Idol appearance or any discernable talent.

So far the critics have compared us to Franz Ferdinand by way of Green Day, Butthole Surfers and Stan Freberg. We’re pretty sure that’s good.

Anyway, we’re now hoping to add The Bollocks Brothers to that list with our new chart-scraping single, “I Dreamed They Beheaded James Brown Last Night On Letterman”.

It’s a dance song.

Listen.

( Lyrics sheet is available (contains spoilers) )

FUN FACT: Based on an actual dream I had ages ago. So you know it’s authentic!

Take it to the bridge,

This is dF

MY FAVORITE FILM RUMOR

When I was in high school, the Internet had not been invented yet. So we had to spread unfounded rumors by word of mouth.

One I distinctly remember involved the film Excalibur.

You remember Excalibur – John Boorman’s take on the Arthur legend. Anyway, there’s a scene (naturally) where someone gets run through with a sword, and the sword gets pulled out of him. It looked so realistic that kids in my class who saw it marveled at how you could possibly fake something like that.

They figured you couldn’t, but they also knew you can’t just stab actors for real. And even if they used a fake sword for the stabby part, the withdrawal part clearly indicates that sword ran through the guy. So, how’d they do that?

According to rumor, they did it by surgery.

What they did, see, was surgically implant the sword in the actor so that it stuck all the way through him. They also did this while the actor was in costume. Then, when the actor was recovered enough to stand up, they took him to the set, stood him up, said “Action!”, and the other guy pulled the sword out of him.

QED. That’s a take. Etc.

To my knowledge, it’s not true. But it sounded true at the time. And that’s the secret to a good rumor – when yr in high school anyway.

NOTE: I have no idea which scene they were specifically referring to. Indeed, the scene may not even exist. I’ve only seen bits of Excalibur, and the only scene I’m aware of that fits that description is this scene at the end (spoiler!) – which, frankly, looks easy enough to simulate even without having spent my military/college years reading Fangoria and watching behind-the-scenes docs with Tom Savini.

I sometimes wonder if I’m misremembering which film they were talking about. Because the same year, Raiders Of The Lost Ark came out, and there’s that fight scene in the bazaar where Indiana Jones stabs a bad guy with a rapier. The scene cuts to a rear view of the guy with the point of the rapier sticking out of his back with some fruit impaled on it as well. Indy pulls out the rapier and the fruit drops to the ground.

Now that’s a scene that could only be accomplished with surgery.

Or, you know, special effects.

Pulling out,

This is dF