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Nov. 12th, 2013
Twilight
It all begins here: Bella meets mysterious gorgeous boy Edward, gets obsessed with him, finds out he’s a vampire and OMG SHINY.
It’s painful to sit through, not least because you have to sit through 45 minutes of awkward high-school drama, teenage mumbling about feelings and Bella’s disaffected-but-decent-person teen schtick before you get to the vampire bits. And once Bella gets Edward to admit what he is, it’s anything but terrifying – especially the Sparkle scene. (Edward says they have to hide who they are because humans would kill them out of fear. Actually humans would kill them for being annoyingly pretty. But maybe I’m splitting hairs here.)
Once Edward’s family (the Cullens, who are very nice vampires and don’t drink human blood because they are very nice) invites her for a game of vampire baseball, yr ready to give up all hope – except of course that’s when you start seeing some action when rival vampires appear on the Cullens’ turf and try to eat Bella (which is not nice).
It gets mildly interesting from there, but only intermittently as whatever vampire action there is gets diluted by more teenage mumbling about feelings and proms. And, as it happens, this is as good as it will get for the next three films.
Mystery date,
This is dF
It all begins here: Bella meets mysterious gorgeous boy Edward, gets obsessed with him, finds out he’s a vampire and OMG SHINY.
It’s painful to sit through, not least because you have to sit through 45 minutes of awkward high-school drama, teenage mumbling about feelings and Bella’s disaffected-but-decent-person teen schtick before you get to the vampire bits. And once Bella gets Edward to admit what he is, it’s anything but terrifying – especially the Sparkle scene. (Edward says they have to hide who they are because humans would kill them out of fear. Actually humans would kill them for being annoyingly pretty. But maybe I’m splitting hairs here.)
Once Edward’s family (the Cullens, who are very nice vampires and don’t drink human blood because they are very nice) invites her for a game of vampire baseball, yr ready to give up all hope – except of course that’s when you start seeing some action when rival vampires appear on the Cullens’ turf and try to eat Bella (which is not nice).
It gets mildly interesting from there, but only intermittently as whatever vampire action there is gets diluted by more teenage mumbling about feelings and proms. And, as it happens, this is as good as it will get for the next three films.
Mystery date,
This is dF
