FIVE THINGS I WILL NEVER, EVER “GET”

There’s probably a point to this list. I’m not entirely sure what it is. Something about how I can usually appreciate another person’s POV about almost anything, but there are a few things I will never understand the appeal of (besides obvious evil stuff like rape, torture, kiddie porn, broccoli, etc). Something like that.

Anyway, I got a blog to run here, so why not?

TOP 5 THINGS I WILL NEVER, EVER “GET”

1. National/school/sports pride

This gets me into trouble a lot – at least the “national” part. But I’ve never really been a team player – maybe because in the case of schools, sports or countries, I’ve never felt like I was part of the team. School was a miserable experience, and I was always picked last for sports teams at recess (albeit for good reasons – I did suck). And while I've never hated America, I don't especially love it either – at least not in the vague unconditional automatic patriotic way everyone expects from you by sheer virtue of the fact that you were born there. Consequently, I don't feel any particular pride in being from there. I do understand liking/loving a given school, team or country, even for the shallowest of reasons. I can even understand being proud of specific achievements. But I don't understand being proud of the thing itself.

2. American Idol

Or any “reality” talent show. It all looks like one big put-on to me, from the judges to the kinds of acts they book to the audience reactions. The problem, I suppose, is that I’ve never seen music in terms of winners and losers. There’s good music and bad music, but winning one of these shows doesn’t really determine which is which. All they really determine is which artists the music business can make good fast money off of. So I don’t see the appeal.

3. Sitcoms

Or at least any sitcom produced after 1985. It’s an old, tired format that’s lasted well past its sell-by date – which would be okay if they were (1) utilizing situations that I could identify with (which, for the most part, they don’t) or (2) still funny (which, as far as I can tell, they’re not – they seem to tell pretty much the usual standard safe mass-appeal jokes to me). I’m sure many of you can point me to “exceptions” (I get referenced to Big Bang Theory and that Louis CK show a lot), but it doesn’t matter anyway since I don’t really watch TV much anymore (which is probably the real reason for this entry).

4. Drug culture

By which I don’t necessarily mean people who use drugs, but rather people who use drugs to the point that it’s the only cultural reference point in their life. To paraphrase Oscar Wilde, “There is only one thing worse than being around people who get high, and that is being around people who talk about getting high and damn little else.” Mind you, this can be mildly amusing when they try to sound like serious people – i.e. when they make long, detailed arguments in favor of drug legalization. There are few things funnier than some stoner lecturing me about all the benefits that the hemp industry could bring to society besides the getting-high part. Dude, yr fooling no one – the “getting high without going to jail” part is the only benefit yr even remotely interested in. 

(NOTE: I’m not saying there are no benefits to legalizing hemp. I’m saying stoners who support legalization usually only really care about the legal-high benefit.) 

5. Nun porn

I don't see the appeal of it. At all. Sorry. I’m not especially offended by it. I just don’t see how it’s supposed to be “extra” naughty as opposed to secular porn. Maybe you have to be a lapsed Catholic to really appreciate it. And sure, different strokes and all. But … no.

I don’t get it,

This is dF

THE FCC IS THE NEW GESTAPO AND OTHER FAIRY TALES

Ever since the WSJ reported that the FCC is planning to propose new rules regarding net neutrality, my Facebook stream has been filled with memes and petitions like this:



Every time I see one of these, I want to punch a hole in my desk. And not because I’m angry at the FCC. It’s because I’m tired of all the stupid paranoid hysteria over this.

Fight For The Future and other activists are demanding that I be freaked out over the FCC’s current plan to destroy net neutrality and make the internet the intellectual property of Comcast. The reason I'm not freaking out about it is because the FCC isn’t actually proposing that, as far as I know.

In fact, I haven't even seen the actual FCC rules being proposed. No one has. That’s because they haven't actually been published yet.

Which means people are "freaking out" over something they haven’t even read but heard about via some unnamed sources quoted by the WSJ – sources that also don't seem to understand the difference between charging for dedicated priority bandwidth and deliberately throttling or shutting down competitors. They definitely don’t understand how the economics of bandwidth delivery work.

Look. I understand the concept and attraction of net neutrality. It’s a valid issue that deserves reasoned debate. But apparently no one wants reasoned debate. It’s 2014, after all – why have reasoned debate when you can generate more clicks with knee-jerk hysteria?

Thanks to these shrill, stupid and uninformed memes and online petitions, it’s practically impossible to have a reasonable debate about net neutrality anymore. Or about anything, really. Everyone wants their own way or nothing, and anything less is a jackboot stamping on yr face.

I’d recommend reading this article for some perspective, but it won’t really make any difference, will it?

Chaotic neutral,

This is dF