I HAD TOO MUCH TO DREAM LAST NIGHT (PHILIP K DICK/RAYMOND CHANDLER MEGAMIX EDITION)

I am Marlow, hard-boiled private dick, and I am on a case to find a woman who is locked in a time capsule and get important information from her. My client believes she knows something that will provide him with an alibi.

The time capsules are run by the military, so to get access to the facility, I have to pose as someone who wants to get his own capsule, and take a physical. People aren't supposed to leave the capsules until they’re scheduled to be opened, so I have to get the woman out of the capsule and back in again without anyone noticing.

The physical is also a challenge because the person who hired me has arranged for me to get a bio-implant that will nullify the effect of the time capsule. This is necessary because once you go inside the capsule, time and reality become subjective. My client could be kept waiting 50 years for me, while to me it might only seem like a day. If the military doctor discover the implant during the physical, my mission will be blown.

Somehow I work out that the only way to get her out of the capsule is to open all of the capsules – partly because the resulting confusion will give us cover, and partly to protect my client. The woman is very high-profile, and if she’s the only one freed and we get caught, the military will know my client was behind it.

I get the time capsules open, and but when I talk to the woman, it turns out she doesn’t know anything that can help my client. To complicate things further, once she’s out of the time capsule, she refuses to go back in. Someone put her in there against her will. I’m sympathetic, but now my client risks exposure.

And then I woke up.

Out of time,

This is dF

THE RAMONES ARE GETTING BACK TOGETHER IN HEAVEN

So Tommy Ramone – a.k.a. Tommy Erdelyi, a.k.a. the last surviving founding member of The Ramones – is gone.

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A lot has already been written about this – how Tommy wasn’t just a timekeeper, he was as much a driving force of the band both behind the kit and behind the scenes as Joey, Johnny and Dee Dee, etc. All of which is true.

But it did occur to me that this marks the very first time that all of the original members of one of my favorite bands have all passed away. Every other band I can think of has only lost maybe half the original line-up.

I may be overstating the significance of that, not least because the Ramones had been inactive since 1996, and Tommy quit the band around 18 years before that. And of course, Marky and CJ and Richie are still with us.

Still, a milestone is a milestone.

And while there’s no point in decrying the unfairness of a world where all the original Ramones are gone but every member of The Eagles are still alive, I kind of understand the sentiment.

[Image via Roger Wilkerson]

Hey ho,

This is dF