I HAD TOO MUCH TO DREAM LAST NIGHT (RANDOM SCENES VOL. 7)

1. Teleporting zombies

I am living in the zombie apocalypse. The twist: zombies have teleportation powers. A zombie that looks far enough away to escape from can then suddenly be right behind you, ready to bite a chunk out of you. Even better: the zombie virus is transmittable by touch. So even if you don’t get bitten, if the zombie so much as lays a hand on you, yr doomed. The only thing working in favor of the living is that the zombie teleportation is highly inaccurate. They can’t do targeted arrivals – they end up where they end up. So if one gets within biting/grabbing range, it’s dumb luck.

2. Poetry slam

I am involved with some kind of performance project with Henry Rollins. It started as a discussion group in which I had read one of his poems aloud. He was impressed with my delivery and wanted to do a show with different people doing readings of his work. When it’s time for my reading, however, I find myself disorganized – I am juggling several different books, and I am distracted enough that I get off to several false starts. Henry is watching from the sidelines, and he seems patient with me, but I feel bad for fumbling it, especially when I did it so well the first time.

3. Fact checking: the virtual reality app

At a trade show, someone from the BBC shows me a new augmented reality app for the iPad. You open the app and hold the iPad up to a TV screen showing a newscast, and the app will fact-check everything the newscaster or commentator is saying, and provide the results – as well as contextual background info – in an overlay grid in real time. The idea is that you can use the app to tell when the speaker is wrong, exaggerating or outright lying. The app also makes the newscaster look like one of the aliens in They Live.

4. That blowed up real good

I am involved with some film project in my mom’s old house. I need to film something exploding. I’ve set up the cameras and models and explosives in my bedroom, and will run everything by remote in the hallway for safety (though this means I can’t actually see the explosion). It’s not supposed to be a big explosion, but it sounds louder than I expected. I go back into the room, and it’s been semi-detached from the house. I step onto the floor and the weight sends it tilting to the ground. I start wondering if there’s any way for me to fix it up enough so Mom won’t notice the damage.

5. Star Wars product placement

I buy a Star Wars branded katana that comes with a cut-out of Yoda. If you put the katana in a special sleeve in the cut-out, it looks like Yoda is wielding the katana. The shopkeeper also tries to interest me in some new comic books that are rare prequels of a well-known series with lots of background info on the characters. I’m not interested, but I listen to her pitch politely.

6. What a bargain

I am traveling somewhere with KT. We see a smartphone at an electronics store that looks like a pretty good deal. After we tell the salesperson we’ll take one, he demonstrates that in fact the smartphone is a remote control for a complicated hi-fi system, which also comes with a tablet. They all snap together somehow. I’m trying to explain to the guy that I didn’t want a hi-fi, just a smartphone. He’s mystified by my comments, because he’s basically offering me an entire hi-fi system and two smart devices for the price of a smartphone (and a low price at that). The problem is that the hi-fi is pretty bulky and I have no idea how I’m going to get it back to the hotel, let alone fit it in my luggage for the flight back home.

A man’s got to know his baggage weight limitations,

This is dF

THE CASE OF THE DISAPPEARING HONG KONG BOOKSELLERS

ITEM: Hong Kong bookstore employees are disappearing.

Or at least five of them have. Four went missing in October last year. The fifth disappeared last week.

All five worked with the same bookstore – Causeway Bay Bookstore, which just happens to specialize in books that are banned in mainland China (but not HK) because they’re critical of the central govt, especially President Xi Jinping. In fact, the bookstore – which publishes its own books as well as carrying others – was about to publish a new book about Xi’s private life.

As you can imagine, the case has raised all kinds of eyebrows in HK. The idea that Beijing is enforcing mainland Chinese censorship laws (where criticizing the govt is no different from actively plotting to overthrow it) in Hong Kong, where they technically don’t apply, is not exactly a comforting one.

Of course, we don’t know for sure where the five have gone. The fifth one, Lee Bo, supposedly phoned his wife to say he’s in Shenzhen across the border “helping with an investigation”. But the permit card he needs to get into China is still at home, so it’s doubtful he went there voluntarily. And in any case, I doubt it’s a coincidence that all five are associated with the same company that just happens to be publishing books critical of Beijing – that also just happened to be popular with mainland tourists visiting HK. It’s unlikely that Chinese authorities are unaware of this.

That said, books like this have been around for ages. So the other question is: if this is some kind of quiet crackdown, why now? Possibly the Umbrella events and resulting political fallout – in which everyone found out that HK democracy will always be rigged in Beijing’s favor because that’s how it's supposed to be, kid – is a factor.

Meanwhile, it’s worth noting that local bookstore chain Page One – which also carried some of the same books – apparently pulled them from the shelves after the first four people disappeared.

Which I’m sure is just fine with Beijing authorities. In fact, it’s probably the reaction they were banking on.

Developing …

Book ‘em Danno,

This is dF

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EDITED TO ADD [8 Jan]: Pro-Beijing HK legislator Ng Leung-sing has a theory: the five missing guys all went to China to hire some prostitutes for fun and got busted. 

Ng has no actual proof of this, but says he read it online, so he thought he'd share it. You know, to be helpful. 

He's since apologized. Lee Bo's wife has not accepted it. Meanwhile, local broadcaster TVB is in hot water for broadcasting Ng's remarks without bothering to verify them. 

Also, while Page One removed the books in question, other shops are still carrying them.