MOSES, MOSES, MOSES …

So I watched The Ten Commandments on TV the other night. I had never seen it before. Here are ten thoughts about it:

 

1. The “directed by Cecil B De Mille” title card in the opening credits is very on-brand.

 

2. That was a hell of a lot of exposition to wade through to get to the plagues.

 

3. Disappointed that they cheated on the plagues by having half of them happen off-camera. Probably a budget issue, but still, it’s not like we're here for the Moses/Nefretiri love story.

 

4. ACTING!

 

5. Edward G Robinson is by far the best actor in this thing. I did not expect this.

 

6. The dialogue was clearly written to sound like what Americans think Shakespeare sounds like. (Best line: "The mudflower has a thorn", a line that could only be delivered by Vincent Price.)

 

7. Best moment: when Moses comes down from Mt Sinai to find the Hebrews partying and making golden calves and whatnot. It’s like every scene in every teenage film when teenagers throw a wild party and them mom and dad unexpectedly come home early.

 

8. The parting of the Red Sea looks pretty impressive, given the limitations of the technology at the time. The Burning Bush™, not so much.

 

9. Pretty sure half the SFX budget went into Charlton Heston’s post-Burning Bush™ hair.

 

10. This movie has everything: mid-Atlantic accents, high waistlines, Yul Bryner glaring non-stop, Anne Baxter's bangs, random poultry and Cold War subtext. You can practically see De Mille ticking off the boxes.

 

BONUS THOUGHT: It’s way too long and cheesy for my taste. But I will say the mise-en-scène of this film is off the chart. It’s like every scene was designed to resemble a religious tableau vivant. Which I assume is the doing of Loyal Griggs (director of photography).

 

So it will be written, etc etc

 

This is dF