THREAT LEVEL: LITERARY
Aug. 22nd, 2009 11:59 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
defrogSo Tom Ridge calls me up and says, “I have this new book coming out about how I was like the Homeland Security Czar and stuff.”
And I’m like, “Okay, Tom. Any big revelations?”
And he goes, “Get this: Bush’s people used to force me to raise the terror alert level whenever the news got bad, especially during the 2004 election when Kerry got a boost in the polls!”
And I’m like, “Dude, we’ve known that since 2004.”
And Tom’s all, “What? But how could you have possibly known?”
And I says, “Because some of us were paying attention. Nice mea culpa though.”
And Tom goes, “Thanks. Think anyone will believe me?”
And I’m all, “What, that you were forced into it? Not a chance. Maybe if you’d actually quit and gone public when it made a difference.”
And Tom goes, “Are you insane? Cheney would have had me shot! He would have done it himself! He does that!”
And I’m like, “Look Tom, I gotta go. Good luck with the book thing.”
And then I hung up on him. You have to know how to know how to handle these people.
Firm hand,
This is dF
And I’m like, “Okay, Tom. Any big revelations?”
And he goes, “Get this: Bush’s people used to force me to raise the terror alert level whenever the news got bad, especially during the 2004 election when Kerry got a boost in the polls!”
And I’m like, “Dude, we’ve known that since 2004.”
And Tom’s all, “What? But how could you have possibly known?”
And I says, “Because some of us were paying attention. Nice mea culpa though.”
And Tom goes, “Thanks. Think anyone will believe me?”
And I’m all, “What, that you were forced into it? Not a chance. Maybe if you’d actually quit and gone public when it made a difference.”
And Tom goes, “Are you insane? Cheney would have had me shot! He would have done it himself! He does that!”
And I’m like, “Look Tom, I gotta go. Good luck with the book thing.”
And then I hung up on him. You have to know how to know how to handle these people.
Firm hand,
This is dF
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no subject
on 2009-08-22 04:19 am (UTC)no subject
on 2009-08-22 04:48 am (UTC)And, I'm pretty darn gullable. If