DEÄTHMÜFFIN UPDATE: CAT WITH HUMAN TEETH!

[defrog]

Someone on Twitter once remarked that the song “All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth” proves that there are no good songs about teeth.

There is now.

SONGFACTS: Based on a true story, although the cat in question was a cartoon cat in a print ad for a brand of cat treats. But it did have human teeth, is my point.

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THE WORDS


Verse 1

Went to pay my gas bill
Saw a cat with human teeth 
It’s not a metaphor
I mean a cat with human teeth

He was curled up on the printer
Orange as a tangerine
Eyes as wide as the ocean
Hopped up on caffeine

Bridge
I wish he’d never smiled at me
Things like that can’t be unseen

Chorus:
Cat with human teeth
Got a smile beyond belief
Cat with human teeth
Yr in danger so I’ll be brief

Verse 2

I offered him a Slim Jim
Cos what else was I gonna do?
See a cat with teeth like that
You kinda wanna see him chew

He nodded and gave me two thumbs up 
Then he grabbed me by the collar 
His eyes and mouth opened extra-wide
That’s when I began to holler

Bridge
I don’t wanna be a snack
I think I want my Slim Jim back

Chorus:
Cat with human teeth
Takes suspension of disbelief
Cat with human teeth
Whatever you do don’t give him beef

[BREAK]

Verse 3

I thought that would be the end of me
Devoured by a freaky cat
The cashier was my hero 
She put a stop to all that

Grabbed the cat and put him back
Then she smacked me upside the head
“Never feed a cat with teeth like that,
“58 dollars”, she said.

Bridge
The moral of this story of mine
This is why I pay my bills online

Chorus
Cat with human teeth
Got a smile beyond belief
Cat with human teeth
Whatever you do, don’t call him Chief

Cat with human teeth
Wants you for an aperitif
Cat with human teeth
Whatever you do, don’t give him beef

Cat with human teeth x 4

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This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.

Lyrics by dEFROG
Music by Banäna Deäthmüffins

©2015 Terribly Frog Music. Derechos Reservados!

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Not a metaphor,

This is dF