52 PIGS (#42 0F 52): YOU WANNA PIECE OF ME?

This week’s pig is a local (i.e. Hong Kong-based) line of characters designed to sell gift merchandise – like, say, Forever Friends. Our version is a pig called Pork Chop.



Which is like naming a pet cow “Steak”, but, you know, whatever.

Pork chop bun,

This is dF

DON’T KNOW MUCH ABOUT HISTORY

Saturday night was a bit of a rough patch for reasons best left unsaid for now, but a highlight was a BBQ at Agent Double L’s place in Ma Wan. Agent GG was also on hand, and over steak, pork chops and doughnuts, she and I got to talking about current events in America.

I told amusing anecdotes about how big Americans are on law and order – such as how cops are Tasering everyone, even pregnant women, and how you can get yr door battered in by police for stiffing the pizza boy, etc. And Agent GG marveled at how the president can still call Iran a dangerous threat when they shut their nukes program down four (4) years ago, and how the US Govt can claim to be a moral authority on human rights when the CIA says it can legally torture people and destroy the evidence.

“So what’s up with that?” Agent GG asks.

And of course there really isn’t a good answer to that, apart from something glib like, “9/11 changed everything,” or, “Well, look, at least we’re not Myanmar. Yet.”

But there are clues, and Agent lorilori unearthed one over the weekend that I cannot get out of my head. It goes like this:

Dana Perrino – the current White House Press Secretary, i.e. the official Presidential Spokesperson, i.e. the person who speaks for the Leader Of The Free World – has admitted on NPR that she has no idea what the Cuban Missile Crisis was.

I’ll repeat that.

Dana Perrino has admitted on NPR that she has no idea what the Cuban Missile Crisis was. Some smart-ass reporter made a comparison between the current Iran standoff and the Cuban Missile Crisis, and Dana had no idea what the fuck they were talking about. She had to ask her husband afterwards what it was.



There’s all sorts of obvious jokes there, but I can’t seem to recover from this news. I mean, sure, it’s not like Perrino is Secretary Of State or a CIA analyst or something, but still, YE FUCKING GODS, THE OFFICIAL WHITE HOUSE SPOKESPERSON DOES NOT FUCKING KNOW WHAT THE CUBAN MISSILE CRISIS WAS.

I’m not saying that anyone who gets a govt post should have a history degree or something, but look, we’re not talking about some obscure battle in the War of 1812. We’re talking about a recent historical event that brought the planet THIS CLOSE to a full-scale nuclear exchange. How can that not register in yr head?

Anyway, the more I ponder this, the more I think it’s a significant factor in the current state of the nation. There's a connection there somewhere.

DISCLAIMER: Not that I’m saying this is a uniquely American problem. Witness local Hong Kong chief Donald Tsang’s attempt to compare democracy to the Cultural Revolution, only to admit later he wasn’t really all that familiar with that part of Chinese history.

BONUS INTERACTIVE FEATURE: Play the Cuban Missile Crisis game over on the History Channel. Bet Dana Perrino wishes she had. Or, actually, probably not.

Overqualified,

This is dF

WHY EVERYONE HATES THE MUSIC INDUSTRY, PART 926

ITEM: The Performing Rights Society in the UK has billed a charity organization in Wigan £470 because the children sing copyrighted Christmas carols on the premises. That's double what they billed them last year when they busted them for ripping off artists by singing Christmas songs without paying.

The children sing them, incidentally, at fundraiser gigs. The thieving little snots.

Evidently, this is their second run-in with the PRS. The trouble began last year when a PRS officer told them they needed a license for staff to listen to a radio in the kitchen because it could be heard from the 42-seat tea room.

Because in the music business:



Scrooged,

This is dF

DEF XMAS PLAYLIST #4: SNOWBALL FIGHTING, IT’S SO EXCITING BABY

One of the goals of this series is to give yr holiday playlist a little badly needed diversity, but of course you don’t want to do this at the expense of old holiday favorites – especially when they’re about domestic violence. So make sure you don’t forget the Ramones this holiday season.

( 1 2 3 4! )

Available on the Brain Drain album.

Santa is a punk rocker,

This is dF

HAVE YOU SEEN JUNIOR’S GRADES?

ITEM: McDonald’s is placing ads for Happy Meals in elementary school report cards in Seminole County, FLA.

Yes.



The pitch is to offer free Happy Meals to students with good grades, behavior or attendance. Because educational excellence is more important than nutrition. Obviously.

Downside: In July, McDonald's was one of the 11 companies who pledged to either ban advertising to children under 12 or limit them to food and snacks that meet certain nutritional guidelines.

Upside: The Seminole County School Board saved itself $1,600 on report card printing costs. And that’s all that really matters, right?

Supersize my grade,

This is dF