THREE THINGS YOU SHOULD PROBABLY KNOW

1. Pat Robertson is still weird.

Which isn’t news, but Rudy Giuliani’s current poll numbers in Iowa may or may not be a coincidence.

2. In Texas, the Texas Higher Education Coordinating Board is considering certifying graduates of the Institute for Creation Research to teach science classes. As if there were any other answer than “Get the fuck out of my office.”

3. The World Net Daily runs on nothing but Red Bull and fear of the Big Gay Plot Against America's Two-Year Olds.

That is all.

OKTHXBYE,

This is dF

HERE IS THE NEWS

Continuing our coverage of year-end lists, AP has selected its Top 10 News Stories of 2007:

1. Virginia Tech killings
2. Mortgage crisis
3. Iraq war
4. Oil prices
5. Chinese exports
6. Global warming
7. Bridge collapse
8. Presidential campaign
9. Immigration debate
10. Iran's nuclear program

Of course, if you went by the number of broadcast hours actually dedicated to news stories as they developed – the ones where news anchors were pulling double shifts and providing 24/7 updates and in-depth analysis of the outcome and impact on the American People – then I have US$10 that says the Virginia Tech shootings would probably be the only story still on the list.

Because from what I remember, the biggest stories on CNN and Fox were bizarre drunk astronaut love triangles, Anna Nicole Smith’s death/autopsy/funeral/career retrospective, Michael Vick’s hobbies, stereoids use in baseball (with a special shoutout to Barry Bonds), Dumbledore and Larry Craig turning out to be secretly gay all this time, Don Imus getting fired, and pretty much anything involving any celebrity whose surname is Spears, Simpson or Lohan.

But who am I to be critical?

Meanwhile, in the interest of fairness and balance, Project Censored has released its 25 most “censored” (or, if you like, underreported) news stories of the year, which is always worth reading, its OTT liberal bias and occasional ventures into conspiracy theory notwithstanding.

( Full list back here where impressionable kids can't see it... )

I like the one where Cheney’s Halliburton stock is up 3,000%. Which means he’s worth something like $94 million now. Which, by a complete coincidence, is how much money in office equipment NASA has lost over the last 10 years.

News to me,

This is dF

THE PEOPLE’S REPUBLIC OF LAKOTA IS OPEN FOR BUSINESS

ITEM: The Lakota Indians, who gave the world legendary warriors Sitting Bull and Crazy Horse, have unilaterally withdrawn from treaties with the United States.

That means parts of Nebraska, South Dakota, North Dakota, Montana and Wyoming will become a whole sovereign country with its own passports and driving licenses. Oh, and no more taxation without representation (provided you officially renounce yr US citizenship).

The fallout from this should be interesting. Because I just can’t see the US govt letting this stand. Not after 9/11 changed everything, and not with an election on and politicians arguing over who can build the biggest wall around Mexico and crap. And they’ve had over 30 years to think of a contingency plan.

Get orf my land,

This is dF

DISCLAIMER: I'm assuming, of course, that this is not another Innernets hoax thing. Because you never know.

DEF XMAS PLAYLIST #11: BING CROSBY, ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?

We’ve already covered Christmas songs by gay icons, but that’s not the same thing as gay icons who are actually gay. I’m not sure how iconic Neil Tennant is, gay or otherwise, but the Pet Shop Boys once did a Christmas song for an AIDS charity CD compiled by Elton John, so close enough.

And we’re all about value for money at Team Def, so here’s the Pet Shop Boys performing “It Doesn’t Often Snow At Christmas”, with a personal introduction by Elton!

( We have lyrics this time! Join us! )

Leave it to Neil to sneer politely at Christmas. And you know he’s right.

Available here.

Synthetic fun,

This is dF