OBAMA: NOT MUSLIM, BOWLS LIKE A GIRL

ITEM: Only 10% of Americans have fallen for the Republican “Barack HUSSEIN Osama’s a Muslim, and you know what THEY’RE like” strategy, according to a Pew Research poll.

And who are these 10% dingbats?

Conservatives, less educated voters and white evangelical Protestants are likelier to believe Obama is Muslim, as are people from the South, the Midwest and rural areas, the poll showed.

Don’t laugh, urban elite Democrats. 10% of YOU also think he’s Muslim.

Anyway, the good news is that 90% of Americans aren’t as stupid as Rush Limbaugh. At least on this one issue.

The bad news for Obama fans is that the presidential nomination is decided on yr bowling score.




He bowled a 37. And, according to Joe Scarborough, he bowls like a girl. Like a GIRL!

The conservative talk show people should get some good mileage out of that. “Okay, so he’s not Muslim, but he bowls faggy. We need a REAL man to fight al Qaeda! REAL men bowl at least 150! Like Dick Nixon! Yes! He was a crook, but he was a MANLY one! This is important!”

And best of all, they don’t need to put John McCain on the planks to prove their point, because he’s too old to bowl.

In which case, yr next president will be Walter Ray Williams Jr. Or bedsitter23.

I’m hoping, of course, that the same 90% of people who didn’t go for the Muslim baiting bullshit will also reject this kind of atavistic Republican macho posturing. Because regardless of whether Obama would make a decent president or not, if he actually loses the nomination over THIS, America might as well just give up its superpowers. How can we lead the free world when we choose our leaders based on whether they bowl manly?

Take the Muslims bowling,

This is dF

I CAN HAS ROBOTZ?

ITEM: In future, robots will be insanely cute and roam around the house changing TV channels, asking questions all the time and drumming on any available vertical surface.

EXHIBIT A [via Pink Tentacle]: ApriPoko, which functions as a voice-operated universal remote control for multiple home appliances by basically annoying you with questions every time you click yr remote – but looking cute while doing it.



EXHIBIT B: Yellow Drum Machine, which rolls around drumming on whatever you put in front of it. It even does its own soundcheck.

And you thought robots of the future would be hot fembot sex toys played by Tricia Helfer. Sorry, Jim.

Like a sex machine,

This is dF