HELPFUL NON-NUDE LAUNDRY TIPS

ITEM [via YesButNoButYes]: Today’s YouTubes sensation: how to gratuitously fold a t-shirt.

( Below the fold, so to speak )

I don’t normally post this kind of thing, but:

1. I owe puffdoggydaddy.

2. I’m really rubbish at folding shirts, so I did find this instructional.

Okay, yes, I admit I had to watch it five times before I could get the gist of it. But ask me to fold a shirt, by God.

Neat, sweet and petite,

This is dF

JUST THE RIGHT BULLETS

It’s last-minute, I know, but finally I found a story worth relating in terms of Memorial Day: the Bullet Controversy!



Basically, soldiers are finding out the hard way that the standard-issue M855 rounds for M4s and M16s, which were designed to penetrate Soviet helmets from hundreds of yards away, aren’t as effective at killing people in street-to-street close quarters combat. Soldiers want heavier caliber rounds.

The Army, of course, says they can’t have them, because the problem isn’t the bullets, it’s where you aim.

"If you hit a guy in the right spot, it doesn't matter what you shoot him with," said Maj. Thomas Henthorn, chief of the small arms division at Fort Benning.

As a peacetime combat veteran, I enjoy arguments like this – partially because I’m qualified on the M16A, and partially because there’s no better tribute to soldiers on Memorial Day than a story that talks in technical terms about how to better effectively kill people.

Because, you know, that’s what you do in a war.

And can I just say, regarding whatever speech the President probably made to honor the war dead, “Mr President, shut yr goddamn mouth and get the fuck out of my sight.”

Or did Keith Olbermann already say that?

Gimme back my bullets,

This is dF

JESUS: BUILT FORD TOUGH

ITEM: A Ford dealership in Mojave, CA has an interesting sales pitch in its new radio ads: if you don’t believe in God, shut the fuck up.

Partial transcript:

Since we all know that 86 out of every 100 of us are Christians, who believe in God, we at Kieffe & Sons Ford wonder why we don't tell the other 14% to sit down and shut up. I guess I just offended 14% of the people who are listening to this message. Well, if that is the case then I say that's tough, this is America folks, it's called free speech. None of us at Kieffe & Sons Ford is afraid to speak out.

I’m not particularly offended by it, even though I’m technically in the 14% category. Kieffe and his boys have the right to be self-righteous pompous bigoted dingbats, just like I have the right to not believe that America is God’s all-time favorite country. Hell, it’s not even original – I heard this line from George Bush Senior and his no-good layabout son years ago.

The only reason I’m bothering to post it, actually, is that it’s a good example of an unbelievably stupid way to run a business – especially when the business deals in a product that’s been steadily losing market share for the last ten years. Ford accounts for just 15% of the auto market (and for all Kieffe and Sons knows, most of them are driven by all the atheists), and that’s expected to go down further this year.

I don’t know anything about the car business, but if I were running a Ford dealership, I’d be doing everything in my power not to alienate a potential customer. Yr money would be good on my lot if you believed that UFOs piloted by CIA unicorns were abducting all the frogs in yr yard and replacing them with exact replicas to spy on you.

Admittedly, it’s possible that even if Kieffe knew you were an atheist, he’d still sell you a Ford (and then tell you to shut the fuck up). Still, you have to wonder what prompted an ad like that in the first place. It could be a pure sensationalism tactic, or a desperation play – not much to lose in the Ford business, eh, Gramps? Or maybe it’s a family affair – wife/daughter ran off with a Scientologist, that kind of thing.

FUN FACT: Ironically, conservative Christians boycotted Ford for three years for “choosing sides in the culture war” by advertising in gay/lesbian publications. The AFA ended the boycott in March after Ford allegedly caved, although Ford says its cutting its ad budget for everyone regardless of sexual orientation.

What would Jesus drive,

This is dF