MOM AND DAD, THIS CHASEY. CHASEY, THIS IS MY MOM AND DAD ...

ITEM: Fox News Sexpert Yvonne K. Fulbright has developed a list of eight signs yr partner is addicted to porn, and according to Fleshbot (link NSFW), it’s sparked off a mini-row in the Blogosphere over whether looking at Interwub pr0n counts as adultery.

And I’m thinking, “Didn’t we have that argument, like, sometime during Web 1.0?” But that, come to think of it, was more to do with virtual affairs via IRC or email, not watching Gene Simmons’ sex tape on PornTube or whatever.

In any case, the argument that “viewing porn = cheating” is bizarre to me. It’s not even interaction with a real person. If the person in question is viewing porn and hiding that fact from the other, it’s at most dishonest, which might be signs of bigger problems (although as much as people try to stigmatize and demonize porn and anyone who watches it, is it any wonder lots of porn fans would have trouble admitting it even with people they're sleeping with?). But it’s not the same kind of dishonesty as, say, fucking yr secretary.

Still, this is what happens when Fox News tries to offer sex advice.

To be fair, Fulbright only mentioned “porn = adultery” in passing, and pointed out this was a common perception that was also wrong. But her “eight signs of pr0n addiction” isn’t a big help. All eight of them individually or collectively could be explained by any number of things that have nothing to do with porn.

Seems like another case of teaching people to make porn a convenient scapegoat for whatever problems yr having.

It wasn’t me,

This is dF

BAD COVER VERSION 015: I’M GONNA TAKE MY PROBLEM TO THE UNITED NATIONS

This week’s cover song is a rockabilly classic and a rock’n’roll standard that’s been covered by everyone from Canadian power trios to Japanese multi-instrumentalists. But only one band has ever really made a hit out of covering it – let’s see how they fare against the original.

THE SONG: “Summertime Blues”

THE ORIGINAL: Eddie Cochran

COMMENTS: Cochran was not only one of rock’s influential pioneers, he also wrote some of the most perfect songs to capture the spirit of teenage life at a time when “teenager” was emerging as an actual demographic category. “Summertime Blues” is teenage America in less than two minutes, and Cochran’s take is short, sweet genius.

THE COVER: The Who

COMMENTS: The Who’s version doesn’t just pay homage to their influences and turn the amps to 11 – it also injects a little more sarcastic anger into the song’s story, which also reflects the angst of the late 60s to some degree. Maybe that’s overintellecualizing, but either way the Who did a great job of taking a song from one era and shaping it for their own.

WINNER: I love both versions, but I have to give this one to The Who. Their version stands by itself, and it’s a top-notch example of how to pwn a song as yr own.

Next week: Vegas crooners vs punk icons!

Too young to vote,

This is dF