BEIJING SAYS: I DON’T THINK THAT WORD MEANS WHAT YOU THINK IT MEANS

I just had to share this with you. This is the July 30 issue of the China Daily, which I bought in the local 7-11 earlier tonight. The story on the left is what made me smile.



You can read the full story online. I just like the way it looks above the fold like that.

Anyway, you see what they did there. “That’s not haze, son, that’s a fine summer mist. Would I lie to you?”

And it’d be funny if the official Beijing-approved media didn’t do this with more serious things. Like that time last week when Beijing cops beat up some Hong Kong reporters who were covering an unruly mob trying to get them some Olympics tickets before they sold out. The cops claimed they weren’t trying to keep reporters from doing their job, they were only “asking them to cooperate”.

Incidentally, the Chinese media reported that one with this headline:



And even that could be chalked up to some comic misunderstanding, except that we all learned today that China will actually be blocking foreign media from accessing certain web sites after all, and that the IOC knew all about it and said okay. But it’s not censorship, see? It’s “blocking content that is illegal in China”. That’s like TOTALLY different.

Oh, and here’s how the China Daily is reporting THAT one:



So at least journalists will be able to access pictures of lingerie models. Progress!

Let the games begin,

This is dF

BIG GAY AL’S BIG GAY ARMY (SLIGHT RETURN)

In case you missed it, the House Armed Services personnel subcommittee has been revisiting the whole “gays in the military” thing, possibly because the military is running out of people willing to sign up and fight one of two wars.

Nice to know the arguments in favor of banning gays are still as atavistic and bizarre as ever.

Jon Stewart reports.

And incidentally, whose idea was it to invite Elaine Donnelly, who has no military experience at all but runs some fictional right-wing think tank that exists to “prove” that women should never serve in combat and gays should never serve at all. I think she was there mostly for comic relief:

Donnelly ... warned of "transgenders in the military." She warned that lesbians would take pictures of people in the shower. She spoke ominously of gays spreading "HIV positivity" through the ranks.

"We're talking about real consequences for real people," Donnelly proclaimed. Her written statement added warnings about "inappropriate passive/aggressive actions common in the homosexual community," the prospects of "forcible sodomy" and "exotic forms of sexual expression," and the case of "a group of black lesbians who decided to gang-assault" a fellow soldier.

Not that I’m complaining, mind. I’m glad they invited her instead of someone who might sound like they knew what they were talking about, or someone whose concept of homosexual stereotypes didn’t date all the way back to the 1950s. Why not? It’s not as though Congress is actually going to let gays openly serve – especially during an election year.

Naturally, Donnelly has since blamed the media and the Democrats for making her look like a complete idiot. She also complains that no Republican senators showed up. The fact that she name-dropped Larry Craig as an example of the Homosexual Agenda To Terrorize Airport Washrooms was a coincidence, I’m sure.

And so much for gays in the military. Except for the ones who are already in covertly, of course. Which is the great thing about banning gays from military service. All they have to do is lie about their sexuality to get past it. So for all Elaine knows, 80% of the military is already gay.

Oh snap!

DISCLAIMER: 80% of the military is not gay. As far as I know. On the other hand, if it were, we’d have won both wars, like, years ago. QED.

FULL DISCLOSURE: I am a peacetime combat veteran. So I get to make jokes like that.

I love a man in uniform,

This is dF

TO ALL THE TERRORISTS OUT THERE, I’M SORRY I GOT ALL UP IN YR LIST

ITEM: 23/6 has debuted the first animated episode of David Rees’ Get Your War On.

It’s funny – provided you ever found GYWO funny, which I do about 68% of the time – but I dunno, I think the idea works better as a strip than an animation. Still, I guess it’d make a good bumper on Adult Swim between ATHF and SeaLab 2021.

Toon me,

This is dF

WHERE DOES HE GET SUCH WONDERFUL TOYS?

I get emails. Sometimes they have pictures like this.



I get them from Clark’s Comics, a good local comics shop that specializes in importing comics from the US, as well as toys and other merch from the US and, in this case, Japan.

I don’t shop there anymore mostly because I live too far away to justify stopping by every week to pick up my orders (which wasn't a problem when I lived a few blocks away). Also, I’ve reached a point where the 32-page magazine format just doesn’t work for me any more. I can’t stand waiting a whole 30 days at a time to read a five-issue story arc – I always forget what happened last issue. I’d rather buy the trade paperback and read the story in one go. I’ll make exceptions sometimes, but not often.

Anyway, I’m still on their mailing list. So I get emails full of things I’d probably buy if I had (1) an unlimited budget or (2) someplace to put them all.

Boy toy,

This is dF