YOUTUBE SURVIVOR SERIES #54: THE WILSON SISTERS WILL NOW KICK YR ASS WITH THE ROCKINROLLS, THX

Yesterday I made a joke about Nancy Wilson being on the Mighty Tiny record label as a girl before changing her name and joining Heart. Which got me to thinking about Heart, and before you know it, I’m Googling and what should I find but this little gem: Ellen DeGeneres playing “Barracuda” on Guitar Hero II for a few moments before she calls in the real band – which commence to completely blow the roof off the dump.

FWOOOOOM!

NOTE: Not an endorsement of batshit running mates.

I confess, Heart completely lost me in the 80s when they did a Jefferson Starship and re-invented themselves as a godawful pop-metal band with MOR aspirations. But up to then, their first two albums got a lot of play on my cassette player (this was before CDs, children). And it’s fair to say that Ann Wilson was probably my first real rock’n’roll crush. (It was either her or Olivia Newton-John – I forget, exactly. Let’s say Ann – that’s much cooler. And I was 12 at the time, if yr wondering.) That said, credit to Nancy for being the first woman I ever saw wielding an electric guitar who wasn't wearing a silly cat costume at the time. I liked it.

Anyway, it’s inspiring to see that Ann and Nancy can still belt out the hits like it was 1977 again. Ann in particular is awesome in the video – Sweet Mother of Babbling Baby Jesus, that woman has some pipes.

FUN FACT: In my eighth grade music class, they wouldn’t let me bring my 45 of “Magic Man” to Music Appreciation Day because the teacher had a specific rule against “acid rock”. It would be years later when I realized the teacher had no idea what the term actually meant. Thanks to him, I thought “acid rock” was a statistical measure of guitar distortion or savageness or something (i.e. some kind of rockness scale – pop rock, acid rock, hard rock, HEAVY METAL).

Well, look, I was a dumb kid. What did I know from acid?

School of rock,

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NEON DARK KNIGHTS

Fresh from the inbox:

A Batman neon sign.



Yours for $89.99.

Available May 20, 2009.

We never close,

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GREAT MOMENTS IN PRESIDENTIAL PR0N

By now you’ve heard that someone’s making a porn video about the Governor of Alaska. But have you seen the on-set production stills?






You have now.

That’s Hillary, Sarah and Condi, by the way. And notice the "Russian" uniforms in the first picture? Mmm hmm.

Full set on Fleshbot here and here (and they are very NSFW, so watch yr ass).

You know, I don’t really want to see the results. I have five American dollars that says the idea is funnier than the finished product will be. The script looks mildly promising, but even so, I have another five bucks that says watching Sarah, Hillary and Condi impersonators have sex will ruin porn for me for the rest of my life.

Still, when people ask me what’s so great about America, I tell them, “Because we have a billion-dollar porn industry that can legally do things like this.”

Let’s keep it that way. Obama/Biden in 2008!

The United States of Bukkake,

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