MORE SENSELESS ACTS OF BLOGGERY

Guess who’s back?



Well, yes.

Her speech is pretty much what you’d imagine it to be – i.e. like the last words of Dutch Schulz.

I guess all I really have to add is this:

Last month Chris Scott made this joke about The Donald’s escalating batshit rhetoric:

Theory: Donald Trump never wanted to be president, is terrified we might elect him, and his attempts to sabotage himself keep backfiring.

— Chris Scott (@iamchrisscott) December 7, 2015

(Rachel Maddow had a similar theory around the same time.)

If that’s the case, getting Palin’s endorsement may be Trump’s “nuclear option”. Maybe he went along with this thinking, “Fuck it – if this doesn’t torpedo my campaign, nothing will.”

Maybe not. But I could have sworn I saw him wince when she said, “Who’s ready to stump for Trump?”

Anyway, this should be fun.

Welcome to the Palindrome,

This is dF

If you didn’t already know, Next Media – a media company based here in Hong Kong that also has operations in Taiwan – has been making the most of its NMA computer animation dept with short videos “explaining” some of the hot and important news topics in the West – like the Tiger Woods sex scandal, the Leno/Coco feud, the Al Gore Sex Poodle allegations and – more recently – the iPhone 4 Antenna Scandal.

Their latest topic [via nebris  and darksumomo ]: Sarah Palin’s possible 2012 presidential run.



Obviously it’s all very tongue-in-cheek (and it’s worth knowing Next Media is primarily in the tabloid business, which means they’ll insult anyone for a laugh, or post photos of them naked). But I think it’s worth noting that if Palin runs, and if she becomes Leader Of The Free World, this is the perception that the Free World already has of her, and will likely continue to have throughout her term(s).

Does it matter? Probably not to her or her supporters, many of whom were Bush supporters, and we know HE didn’t care what a bunch of stupid foreigners thought about him or his policies (unless they agreed with him, then fine). And it’s not like anyone in Hong Kong or Taiwan is a registered voter (though that didn’t stop Palin and her running mate John McCain from putting up a few signs in furniture stores here in HK during the 2008 campaign).

Still, I can’t help thinking that in these heady days of globalized media, maybe you can act like a down-home mama-grizzly cartoon at home and still get elected, but that doesn’t mean you’ll be taken seriously as a leader when you go abroad.

I'm just saying.

Think local act global,

This is dF

So I’ve been doing some catch-up on current events, as I’m a little behind, what with a recent deadline week and my trip to Hainan, where the only TV channels we could get were Chinese channels, and while they do have news shows, it’s from CCTV, which is what American TV news would be like if Ann Coulter were president, only with a different POV.

Anyway, I missed the biggest political contest of the 2010 mid-terms so far, and I have to say I thought there’d be more media hype and punditry outrage over this. I mean, forget that the Tea Party and its supporters aren’t that well known for having a sense of humor, especially when it comes to Sarah Palin, and surely this is the kind of money trail they’d be scrambling to disavow, which of course would be great television, so why the networks aren’t jumping all over this, I have ...

Hmmm, what? Rand Paul? You mean Ron Paul, right? No? Rand Paul? What’s he got to do with ...

Oh, the primaries.

Sorry. I was talking about the Sarah Palin Look-alike Contest.





Which, you’ll notice, also doubled as a Tea Party fundraiser.

Which you’d think would be newsworthy.

Granted, Tim Brown of the Admiral did suggest that they might have trouble finding someone to accept the cheque. And neither Sarah Palin nor Rod Blagojevich accepted invitations to be judges.

Still, as far as I can tell, no one in the Tea Party seems to be going out of their way to condemn it – not even Fox News. Maybe as a courtesy to the GOP?

Liberals – by which I mean Daily Kos – seem to be slightly more vocal in condemning it on traditional sexism grounds, though that’s mainly an excuse to bag on Tea Partiers for complaining about the Liberal Media being all sexist in criticizing Palin when they’re more sexist than liberals etc etc.

Is it sexist? Well, inasmuch as you can argue that no one ever reduces male politicians to campy sex objects. Except that there are also porn versions of Elliot Spitzer and – yes – Barack Obama and his stimulus package, among others, so I’m not sure that argument holds as much water as it used to. And in Palin’s case, it’s not like she was never an object of parody before Larry Flynt saw a cash-in opportunity.

Still, it’s interesting that many Americans – including fans of Palin – remain unaccustomed to the idea that a politician can be a hot MILF, and are having trouble reconciling this with their pre-conceived ideas of MILF hotness. Put country simple, yr not supposed to have sexual fantasies about politicians.

Then again, maybe that changed in 1992. I’ve lost count of how many women I know who have admitted that, had they been in Monica Lewinsky’s position, they would TOTALLY flash their thong at Bill Clinton too. And I know several more who saw that photo of Barry at the beach and thought, “Oh God yeah, I’d totally hit it.” Even Junior Bush drove women wild in his flight suit. 

So in that sense, treating Palin any different would be, well, sexist.

Of course it’s all silly. But Christ, what isn’t in American politics anymore?

Which is why I don’t have anything to add about the primaries or Rand Paul. Yes, he talks crazy, but so does half the Senate these days.

Stimulation nation,

This is dF

Yr hot political story of the day [via bedsitter23 ]:



Naturally, Orthmann – a Republican – says it was all a big joke and he only put the picture there to make some point about healthcare:


Maybe. And as bedsitter23  points out, it could have been worse.

Still, we’re in interesting territory here. I don’t have the data on this, but I’m pretty sure that any courthouse or other municipal/state govt building that displays a picture of the president does it properly and without some kind of political commentary just as a matter of decorum. Maybe there have always been exceptions and we just didn’t have the Interweb to cover it. But this is a first for me.

I’m sure a number of conservatives will use this to claim that liberals and Democrats don’t have a sense of humor. And I’ll admit that on a general level, it is kind of funny, if not exactly appropriate.

Of course, my response is that if Republicans get to hang up pictures of Smoking Barry as “official” presidential portraits, then Democrats get to use the George Bush Eats Kittens photo as their “official” President Bush pic.

Or, if Sarah Palin wins in 2012, they get to use this as her official portrait.



[Yes, I know the Bush and Palin pics are Photoshopped. So is the Obama Cigarette photo. What’s yr point?]

Anyway, I chalk the whole episode up to the general state of Fear and Loathing that has devolved political debate into the current all-or-nothing zero-tolerance partisan circus presented to us by wingnuts on both sides and the media that loves them. Neutral ground and decorum are meaningless concepts when the opposition is shouting “You lie!” during the SOTU address and/or denouncing the President as a Socialist Nazi bent on destroying America – and they’re not speaking in metaphors.

Say cheese,

This is dF

I wasn’t going to post anything about last month’s conservative freakout over President Barry HUSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIN! Obama’s executive order that grants Interpol full rights and exemptions under the International Organizations Immunities Act of 1945 – which everyone from Glenn Beck to the National Review took as Obama giving Interpol the power to arrest and lock up Americans without due process as part of Obama’s evil plot to make America a gay Muslim nation of Socialist Mexicans. Or something.

It’s not true, of course – the executive order gives Interpol full exemptions under the IOIA, but seeing as how Interpol doesn’t actually have field agents in the first place, much less the power to arrest anyone, I didn’t see the point of passing it on. (Plus, look, if I posted every single Obama conspiracy theory that these dingbats cook up, I’d never get any work done.)

Besides, even the NRA didn’t buy that one (though notice that nifty disclaimer at the end). So I just filed it under “Batshit Hysteria” and moved on to more important issues threatening America – like the Illuminati/Lady Gaga connection.

Leave it to Chuck Norris to crack the case and figure out Obama’s REAL plan with Interpol.

See, Chuck noticed that the order makes Interpol immune to FOIA requests. And there’s only one possible reason why Obama would want to give Interpol that immunity:


Like his Kenyan birth certificate, say. And evidence that would get his Muslim pals convicted of terrorism in NYC. And God knows what else.

Classic.

And soon to be a major motion picture starring Chuck Norris and his megatight jeans. (See upper right)

All of which ought to give Sarah Palin plenty to talk about, now that she’s started her new broadcasting career at Fox News. (And I didn’t post about THAT earlier because hell, Jim, why not? Fox quit pretending to be a news channel ages ago, so they might as well hire Sarah Palin. I hope she does a one-on-one interview with Rep. Michele  Bachmann. That will take Fox into completely unchartered batshit territory. Trust me.)

Open the vault,

This is dF

ITEM: Larry “Hustler” Flynt’s lawsuit against his two nephews – Jimmy Flynt Jr and Dustin Flynt – for trademark infringement is now underway.

Flynt claims the boys’ adult-film business (which they started with their severance cheques after he fired them for slacking) is trading off the Flynt name – which bugs him mainly because their videos aren’t up to the Flynt standard of quality. Which leads to such courtroom exchanges as this:
DISCLAIMER: Team Def has never sampled the work of the Flynt brothers, so cannot comment on the quality of their product. That said, we’ve never really been a fan of Hustler’s gynecology aesthetic either.

On the other hand, Larry Flynt DID give us the Sarah Palin pr0n. And he fought for the right of all Americans to make fun of Jerry Falwell. So I have to give him credit for that.

What have you done for me lately,

This is dF

Guess who’s coming to my town.



From the CLSA press release:


The jokes write themselves, as usual. In fact, some business writers seem convinced it’s CLSA’s idea of a practical joke. Or possibly wishful thinking, as Palin has a history of not showing up at speaking gigs with the excuse that no one ever confirmed it. (CLSA has told reporters it’s for real, and a Palin spokesperson assures Fox News she's confirmed.)

Still, it’s not like Sarah doesn’t have her fans in HK. She’s very big with furniture companies, for one. And of course everyone enjoyed her Tina Fey impressions on SNL. And considering that CLSA's previous events on international financial investment and economic policy featured speakers that eventually gave you the current economic meltdown, one could argue expertise is overrated.

Sadly (if predictably), while the Investors Forum is open to accredited media, Palin’s speech is not. So my journalism credentials won’t get me a seat. Otherwise, I’d be tempted to go, if only so I could ask her a question about mooseburger recipes her opinion on opportunities for US telecommunications investment in Asia, whether foreign ownership caps should be lifted on both sides of the Pacific, and the potential impact on rural telecoms services and GDP growth in emerging markets. Just to see what she says.

Then I’d post the MP3 here. Hilarity would presumably ensue.

So much for that.

Still, who knows? Maybe I’ll spot her shopping for overpriced cheongsams in Shanghai Tang. They know me there. Sure.

Merrymaking at my place,

This is dF

Speaking of Fox News and its ratings bonanza, here’s an interesting piece from The Daily Beast regarding the spectacle of Sarah Palin blaming the Liberal Elitist Media for her decision to resign, while Palin fans Bill Kristol and Rush Limbaugh blame the Big Liberal Elitists who hate Palin for no really good reason. 

The basic premise of the column is: what in the f*** are you people blathering about?

It’s a point worth making, because ever since the early 1990s, conservatives have complained about how the media is run by biased liberal elitists who want to silence the GOP forever, etc. Which wasn’t all that strong a case in 1994 when the likes of Limbaugh rose to fame, but it’s an even tougher case to make now.

The fact that Fox News is the top news station in the country – and absolutely LOVES Sarah Palin – is a good start. Context also matters:


But as Friedersdorf notes, the conservative movement has always kind of thrived by playing the oppressed underdog – and one with a complete disregard for facts. So why not pretend the odds are against them?

Anyway, you might want to bookmark the article for the next holiday when yr Freeper relatives come over for BBQ and start reviving that old Liberal Elite Bias chestnut. Toss a few of those nuggets and ask them to explain that. You should be able to keep that argument going for hours.

Yr welcome.

Young and rich,

This is dF

[And now is the part in the blog where we do political commentary for our own amusement – feel free to skip as usual (though I recommend the Daily Show clip), but we’ll have recession bondage queens and hot nude divorce lawyers coming up soon, so be sure to come back!]

So yr the GOP, and yr hated enemy, President Barry HUSSEIN Obama (right), is about to give his first SOTU address. And he’s probably going to blow the roof off the dump. So you need someone to deliver yr party response that can follow an act like that.

What do you do?

You send in Louisiana governor Bobby Jindal, that’s what.

Oh snap!

You know you’ve bombed when people in yr own party say, “Dude, you sucked.”

Still, there’s something disingenuous about all the conservative backlash at Jindal’s speech – I mean, he pretty much telegraphed the whole thing from his Sunday talk show gigs, so it’s not like he caught them off-guard. And nothing he said deviated from the official GOP party line. Except for the part about actually admitting that “Republicans lost your trust, and rightly so”. And actually bringing up Katrina as an example of govt failure (under a GOP admin).

I’m sure he’d have got better conservative reviews if he’d skipped those two items. Admit past mistakes? Dude, this is politics. You just don’t DO that. He might as well have said: “How do I know you can’t trust the govt to fix anything? Look at the last eight years under GOP management. Hell, look what they did to MY state. If my own party can’t find its own collective ass with both hands, how are those terror-hugging taxaholic libtards in the Democratic Communist Party going to help you?”

Still, it’s amazing to hear even David Brooks saying that this is no time to repeat the same old GOP mantra of small govt and tax cuts. Bookmark that, because yr not likely to hear it from a Republican’s mouth again.

The other interesting angle to all this – as Rachel Maddow and Ana Marie Cox have already pointed out – is that this is the third time the GOP has struck out trying to find someone (anyone) in their ranks who can counter Obama’s mojo, even if that only means not being an Old White Guy. Sarah Palin came close, but she served on a losing ticket, and she does have a tendency to go off-message for no real reason. Michael Steele? Too hip-hop for the Midwest, plus he has a tendency to make one-armed midget jokes that only other Republicans find funny. Jindal must have seemed like a bargain in comparison – who knew he’d launch his 2012 presidential campaign this early?

Anyway, it’s only really a problem for the GOP because, in the absence of a Party Star, their default spokesperson seems to be Joe The Plumber, who no one in the GOP seems to have the sense to disown as an attention-seeking nincompoop.

In the meantime, it’s not all bad for Jindal. He still has Rush Limbaugh in his corner, after all. And at least he didn’t deploy the “Obama = AntiChrist and/or Hitler” line.

Unlike some people.


PRODUCTION NOTE: Via dinopollard . And you really should watch it just for the awesome reactions from Jason Jones during the interviews. Which is exactly how any rational person should react – yet CNN and Fox News give these dingbats airtime as though they’re worth taking seriously. Bonus points for the Keyser Soze bit at the end.

Obama Youngblood cover via bedsitter23 .

Swift like a leopard, the feet of a bear, and the mouth of a lion,

This is dF

BREAKING: Fox News reveals – about five months late – that Sarah Palin gave McCain’s campaign worry because she was a tantrum-throwing prima donna who couldn’t name the members of NAFTA and thought Africa was a country rather than a continent.


Well, NOW they tell us.

I like the part where they say, “On the other hand, conservatives just loved her.”

You’ll be hearing from her again.

Anyway, worth passing on just for the novelty of watching Fox News acting all surprised about what most of us figured out months ago using nothing but the power of observation and brain cells.

Wankers.

Dumber than a sack of ham sandwiches,

This is dF

#####

EDITED TO ADD: For more amazing behind-the-scenes revelations on both campaigns, Newsweek has an impressive collection of anecdotes. For example, Palin apparently blew more than $150k on clothes: