THE MEN WHO STARE AT ... OH YOU KNOW ...

ITEM: A study from researchers in Germany concludes that staring at women's breasts is good for men's health and increases their life expectancy.

According to Dr. Karen Weatherby, a gerontologist and author of the study:

"Just 10 minutes of staring at the charms of a well-endowed female, is roughly equivalent to a 30-minute aerobics work-out."

"Our study indicates that engaging in this activity a few minutes daily cuts the risk of stroke and heart attack in half. We believe that by doing so consistently, the average man can extend his life four to five years."

In addition, she also recommended that men over 40 should gaze at larger breasts daily for 10 minutes.

Wow. No wonder my blood pressure is my healthiest vital sign.

FUN FACT: Russ Meyer lived to be 82.

More than meets the eye,

This is dF

HELEN MIRREN WITH A SNIPER RIFLE

I’ve mentioned before that when it comes to movie adaptations of novels and comics, it’s unrealistic to expect the film version to be 100% faithful to the source for a bunch of reasons, most of them related to the difference of storytelling language and techniques.

Warren Ellis offers some additional insight into the process in regards to the upcoming film version of his graphic novel Red:

RED, the book, is 66 pages long. If you were to film 66 pages of comics, you might, might just about get 40 minutes of film out of it. If you added a musical number. The comics-page to film-minute ratio is pretty bad. A straight adaptation of a 150-page graphic novel might, if you squint at it, get you a 100-minute film. But it’s unlikely, because comics and films use time so differently. One page with four lines of dialogue on it can be slowed to a crawl to the point where you have to spend several minutes digesting the information on it. In film, however, four lines of dialogue is four lines of dialogue, and you can’t just pronounce it very slowly for the same time consumption. Beyond filmic/dramatic effects like the pause or montage or whatever, film is timelocked.

This is why filmmakers sometimes invent new characters and subplots, which is okay provided they’re consistent with the root material, Ellis continues:

The film has the same DNA. It retains bits that are very clearly from the book, as well as, of course, the overall plotline. But it is, yes, lighter, and funnier. And if anyone has a real problem with that, I say to you once again:

Helen Mirren with a sniper rifle.

I mean, if you don’t want to see a film with Helen Mirren with a sniper rifle, I’m not sure I want to know you.

Roll camera,

This is dF

DEF XMAS PLAYLIST 2009: YOU CAN’T PLAY THIS SONG ON THE RADIO

It’s a tradition here at Team Def to liven up yr Hanukkah/Solstice/Christmas/New Year’s/Pagan/Whatever holidays with some seasonal music selections – preferably ones that yr local broadcaster isn’t running into the ground.

And while this year I’m tempted to simply direct yr attention to bedsitter23 ’s ongoing series and save myself a little work, the truth is I never met a theme playlist I couldn’t resist.

So let’s kick things off with the one Christmas song yr guaranteed not to hear on the radio (unless you subscribe to Sirius or live outside the US):

"ZZ Top Heard It On The X April 1980" (Watch on YouTube)

PRODUCTION NOTE: Don’t worry, they won’t all be like this. But some of them might.

Fuck reindeer,

This is dF