SOME GIRLS ARE BIGGER THAN OTHERS

Size does matter,

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HAINAN: THE REST OF THE STORY

Because I can’t take pictures of EVERYTHING, here are some additional highlights from the Hainan tour:

1. A shooting range

They actually took us to one. And I don’t mean air pistols – I mean actual guns with actual bullets. They charged by the round, and the bridal unit and I were the only ones to sign up – she because she’d never fired a real gun before, me because I wanted to see if I could still hit anything.

We weren’t going to do it, because the tour guide told us we’d be shooting live chickens. And fuck that – I am not going to shoot a chicken even if they let me take it home to cook it later. But when we got there, we found out chickens were just one option – paper targets and bottles were also on the agenda. We opted for paper.

I selected the 5.56mm handgun, and bought five bullets. And I am proud to report I was five for five, with two bullseyes. My military training finally pays off.

2. A sales pitch from the People’s Liberaton Army

It started with what I thought was a tour of a PLA military museum showcasing military hardware, and ended with a soldier demonstrating kitchen knives available for a special price. It was a nicely surreal experience. The funny part was that there was no warning of the transition. One minute we’re looking at shell casings and anti-personel mines, the next minute we’re walking walked a hallway with posters of PLA soldiers on the job interspersed with posters of knives slicing meat. And I thought: “That is SO bad-ass.”

3. A foot massage from the People’s Liberaton Army Navy

Really. They took us to what looked like a concrete bunker, and out come 30 very friendly men and women in uniform to massage our feet, and give us reflexology tips on problem areas. It was a damn good foot massage.

( And so on, and etc, and bloggity bloggity ... )

And so much for Hainan. Grueling but educational.

Unpacked,

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ARMADILLO MOONBOTS!

Yr Big Space Headline of the day:




That’s fine and well, but no matter how many times I read that headline, I keep thinking it says:

NASA To Put Armadillo Robonauts On The Moon by 2013

Which, of course, makes me think of Emerson, Lake and Palmer.



Which should give you an idea of just how uncool I was in high school (if the Marx Brothers clip didn’t do that already).

Dark side of the moon,

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THE MOON’S ALL RIGHT IF YOU LIKE SAXOPHONES

Speaking of sending armadillobots to the moon, here’s Slim Gaillard to explain how high the moon is – by employing Jazz Science.

JAZZ SCIENCE FACT: You can get a good potato salad on the moon.

DISCLAIMER: The visuals don’t seem to have anything to do with the song. Feel free to ignore them.

Somewhere there’s music,

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