HAINAN: THE REST OF THE STORY
Jul. 9th, 2010 10:39 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
defrogBecause I can’t take pictures of EVERYTHING, here are some additional highlights from the Hainan tour:
1. A shooting range
They actually took us to one. And I don’t mean air pistols – I mean actual guns with actual bullets. They charged by the round, and the bridal unit and I were the only ones to sign up – she because she’d never fired a real gun before, me because I wanted to see if I could still hit anything.
We weren’t going to do it, because the tour guide told us we’d be shooting live chickens. And fuck that – I am not going to shoot a chicken even if they let me take it home to cook it later. But when we got there, we found out chickens were just one option – paper targets and bottles were also on the agenda. We opted for paper.
I selected the 5.56mm handgun, and bought five bullets. And I am proud to report I was five for five, with two bullseyes. My military training finally pays off.
2. A sales pitch from the People’s Liberaton Army
It started with what I thought was a tour of a PLA military museum showcasing military hardware, and ended with a soldier demonstrating kitchen knives available for a special price. It was a nicely surreal experience. The funny part was that there was no warning of the transition. One minute we’re looking at shell casings and anti-personel mines, the next minute we’re walking walked a hallway with posters of PLA soldiers on the job interspersed with posters of knives slicing meat. And I thought: “That is SO bad-ass.”
3. A foot massage from the People’s Liberaton Army Navy
Really. They took us to what looked like a concrete bunker, and out come 30 very friendly men and women in uniform to massage our feet, and give us reflexology tips on problem areas. It was a damn good foot massage.
4. The complementary electric game table in our room
It came with a compartment in the center for rolling dice electronically. Never did figure out how to turn it on, so I assume it was broken.
5. The tour bus driver
His name was Honey. He was bald, a chain smoker and he used the horn like a percussion instrument.
6. The accommodations
We changed hotels every night, and ... well, let’s just say it was a cheap tour for a reason. But I’m generally not that fussy if they get the basics right, and we only had to change rooms twice – once because of ants (which is how we ended up with the electric mahjong table), the other because someone had stolen the mini-bar.
The highlight was the hot spring resort where we attempted to use the gym, only to find out they had to send someone to open it and turn everything on. Also, it had no A/C at all, which explains why it was closed in the first place – not least since the temperature was hovering around the 36ºC mark the whole week we were there. We passed.
7. The food
See above. One or two decent meals – the best one courtesy of the hotel restaurant with a view of a dead rat on the lawn right outside – but most of it was average. The best food was the fresh roadside pineapples and the poached egg snacks spiked with spring onion and coconut from a hawker’s stand at the coffee factory.
And so much for Hainan. Grueling but educational.
Unpacked,
This is dF
1. A shooting range
They actually took us to one. And I don’t mean air pistols – I mean actual guns with actual bullets. They charged by the round, and the bridal unit and I were the only ones to sign up – she because she’d never fired a real gun before, me because I wanted to see if I could still hit anything.
We weren’t going to do it, because the tour guide told us we’d be shooting live chickens. And fuck that – I am not going to shoot a chicken even if they let me take it home to cook it later. But when we got there, we found out chickens were just one option – paper targets and bottles were also on the agenda. We opted for paper.
I selected the 5.56mm handgun, and bought five bullets. And I am proud to report I was five for five, with two bullseyes. My military training finally pays off.
2. A sales pitch from the People’s Liberaton Army
It started with what I thought was a tour of a PLA military museum showcasing military hardware, and ended with a soldier demonstrating kitchen knives available for a special price. It was a nicely surreal experience. The funny part was that there was no warning of the transition. One minute we’re looking at shell casings and anti-personel mines, the next minute we’re walking walked a hallway with posters of PLA soldiers on the job interspersed with posters of knives slicing meat. And I thought: “That is SO bad-ass.”
3. A foot massage from the People’s Liberaton Army Navy
Really. They took us to what looked like a concrete bunker, and out come 30 very friendly men and women in uniform to massage our feet, and give us reflexology tips on problem areas. It was a damn good foot massage.
4. The complementary electric game table in our room
It came with a compartment in the center for rolling dice electronically. Never did figure out how to turn it on, so I assume it was broken.
5. The tour bus driver
His name was Honey. He was bald, a chain smoker and he used the horn like a percussion instrument.
6. The accommodations
We changed hotels every night, and ... well, let’s just say it was a cheap tour for a reason. But I’m generally not that fussy if they get the basics right, and we only had to change rooms twice – once because of ants (which is how we ended up with the electric mahjong table), the other because someone had stolen the mini-bar.
The highlight was the hot spring resort where we attempted to use the gym, only to find out they had to send someone to open it and turn everything on. Also, it had no A/C at all, which explains why it was closed in the first place – not least since the temperature was hovering around the 36ºC mark the whole week we were there. We passed.
7. The food
See above. One or two decent meals – the best one courtesy of the hotel restaurant with a view of a dead rat on the lawn right outside – but most of it was average. The best food was the fresh roadside pineapples and the poached egg snacks spiked with spring onion and coconut from a hawker’s stand at the coffee factory.
And so much for Hainan. Grueling but educational.
Unpacked,
This is dF
