NOW THAT THE RAPTURE’S OVER, WE CAN ALL ENJOY FULL-FRONTAL NUDITY AGAIN

ITEM: Hollywood is getting over its fear of cock.

At least according to this article from The Daily Beast [via Newsweek, of all places], which offers as evidence the Minotaur from Your Highness, as well as a number of cable-only TV shows like Game Of Thrones, Spartacus: Blood And Sand and Gigolos.

Personally, I’m not really convinced. There’s always been cock in cinema – you just had to watch European movies, indie arthouse or Russ Meyer films to see it. And on the rare occasion it does happen in a mainstream Hollywood film, we get a handful of articles like this wondering if Hollywood is finally cured of its cockophobia – accompanied by a hundred thousand "OMG THERE'S COCK IN THIS MOVIE" articles (usually either to express moral outrage or as an excuse to make wiener jokes).

And the flood of cash-in films with full-frontal male nudity typically fails to ensue.

Granted, Your Highness is probably the first Hollywood film to show an actual erection. But it’s a Minotaur erection, so it arguably doesn’t even count.

Anyway, I’ll believe that full-frontal male nudity has gone mainstream when visible cock becomes standard in Hollywood love scenes. Or at least in those late-night straight-to-Cinemax films. Which probably won’t happen as long as people like this have political clout. Or as long as straight guys continue to be unable to look at another guy’s cock without feeling embarrassed, threatened, or inadequate.

Still, I’d like to think that more Hollywood production meetings would have discussions like: “Who the fuck would circumcise a Minotaur?”

Like so.

PRODUCTION NOTE: The above clip is probably NSFW. Depending on yr company's policy on Minotaur cock.

Whip it out,

This is dF

ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY MY LAST RAPTURE POST UNTIL THE NEXT RAPTURE

Which will be in October, according to the guy who told you it would be this past weekend.

And you can believe him, because it turns out that May 21 actually WAS Judgment Day – just not the kind where the faithful get zapped to Heaven:

Through chatting with a friend over what he acknowledged was a very difficult weekend, it dawned on him that instead of the biblical Rapture in which the faithful would be swept up to the heavens, May 21 had instead been a "spiritual" Judgment Day, which places the entire world under Christ's judgment, he said.

The globe will be completely destroyed in five months, he said, when the apocalypse comes. But because God's judgment and salvation were completed on Saturday, there's no point in continuing to warn people about it, so his network will now just play Christian music and programs until the final end on Oct. 21.

"We've always said May 21 was the day, but we didn't understand altogether the spiritual meaning," he said.

Nice save, Harold.

Of course, some of us know The Truth about what REALLY happened on May 21.



And the batshit continues.

Cancel my subscription to the Resurrection,

This is dF