I HAD TOO MUCH TO DREAM LAST NIGHT: DEVIL’S NIGHT AT THE MOTOR COURT

I am staying in a motor court of some kind in some small US town. I’m supposed to stay a couple of days, but at some point I realize that tonight is the local version of Devil’s Night, where the local rednecks gather at the motor court and engage in substance abuse and senseless violence and vandalism.

I go to see the manager of the motor court, who is played by Charlize Theron. For some reason she’s dressed in a flowery robe and 50s-style black lace lingerie. I tell her I need to check out early. She agrees it’s probably a good idea, but advises me that because it’s already after 4pm, she’ll still have to charge me for the second night. I don’t have time to argue, so I agree.

I go to pack, but I’m so thoroughly unpacked that it takes time, and before I’m halfway done it’s already dark out and people are starting to gather. Also, due to a narrative shift, it seems I actually need to get out of the country, not just the motor court, and there’s a lot of paperwork involved.

I rush to fill out as much of the forms as I can, then I hand them in at the front desk and walk out into the street, pulling my luggage case behind me. The street is full of people, many of them running and screaming. I have to get to the train station, which means walking against the tide of fleeing people. I hear some drunk redneck nearby say, “Hey boy, need a hand with that bag of yrs?” I don’t acknowledge him and walk at top speed.

And then I woke up.

Checking out,

This is dF

DID YOU MISS ME OVER THE WEEKEND?

I don’t want to bore you with a long irrelevant conversation, but you see darlin’, I think it’s about time for me to get real serious about you.

Shucks girl,

This is dF

THE BADDEST DRIBBLER IN THE WHOLE NEIGHBORHOOD

Incidentally, that last song I posted? “Love Jones” by Brighter Side Of Darkness?

It was the basis for “Basketball Jones” by Cheech And Chong, you know.

You can hear the resemblance, no?

FUN FACT: For a comedy novelty song, “Basketball Jones” has a pretty amazing musical line-up – George Harrison, Billy Preston, Nicky Hopkins, Darlene Love, Michelle Phillips (of the Mamas & Papas), Carole King, Jim Keltner and Tom Scott all played on it. According to legend, the song started with Cheech Marin singing and Tommy Chong on piano, and then their producer, Lou Adler, started grabbing whoever happened to be in the A&M studios at the time to sit in on the session, and they all made it up on the spot.

Now that’s comedy.

Maybe that’s why I can’t sleep at night,

This is dF

WAITING FOR THE SUN

Somewhere in Disco Bay:



You left me standing in the rain,

This is dF

GOOD MORNING. GLENN BECK HAS MORE MONEY THAN YOU. ENJOY YR DAY.

You thought you’d heard the last of Glenn Beck when Fox News canned him.

But Glenn Beck is still in the batshit conspiracy business.

And business is good.



It’s even more mind-boggling when you pause to remember that, in terms of batshit talk radio ratings, Glenn Beck isn’t even on top of the list. He’s No. 3 behind Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity.

It’s hard to think of anything to add to this that isn’t really obvious.

All I can say is that when you live in a society that rewards wholesale ignorance, revisionist history, race baiting, apocryphal anecdotes, batshit paranoid fantasies and cash-for-gold scams with that kind of money, it’s probably not a sign of the Apocalypse so much as a sign that we probably deserve one at this point.

Or is that too harsh?

Maybe. But I probably wouldn’t mind so much if so many people didn’t take Beck seriously. Which is why I can’t decide which is worse: whether Beck really believes his own schtick, or he’s a savvy broadcaster who knows how to draw an audience. Because if it’s the latter, I’m pretty most of his audience isn’t in on the joke.

Either way, it’s the latest indication that Rational Discourse is LONG dead and gone. And all because there’s no money in it.

Why bother,

This is dF