WHO STOLE THE ROCKINROLLS?
Jan. 14th, 2008 08:48 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
defrogI missed this the first time round (on account of we don’t get VH1 out here in the South China Sea) but anyway:
Last month, the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame announced its inductees for 2008: Leonard Cohen, The Dave Clark Five, Madonna, John Mellencamp and The Ventures.
And just when I’m thinking, “Leonard Cohen and Madonna were rock?”, YesButNoButYes calls my attention to Future Rock Hall, a site that tracks all of the artists who are eligible for RnRHOF status (i.e. 25 years have passed since their first record was released) but haven’t yet made it in.
It’s an amazing list of names, really – I would have sworn bands like Kiss and Alice Cooper were already in, or guys like Link Wray. I was surprised to see Lou Reed’s name too, although The Velvet Underground were inducted 12 years ago, so maybe that’s understandable.
Still, inevitably this gets me to thinking about the criteria involved, seeing as how they only induct a handful of people every year. There doesn’t seem to be much in the way of guidelines apart from “trailblazers ... all unique and influential in their genres”. Which leaves it pretty wide open, though the “Fame” element suggests that yr far more likely to see, say, John Mellencamp get the nod than, oh, The Hard-Ons.
And then of course there’s the ultimate question: What is Rock? Is it Madonna? Is it Miles Davis (2006)? Is it Bob Wills & His Texas Playboys (1999)? Is a guitar a minimum requirement? Should Dio have at least done a guest vocal on one track? Or is it simply “the area between the balls and the anus of a dog or of a man” (Turbonegro 2007, p. 11)?
Unsurprisingly, there’s been a lot of bias against rap and disco artists as not being rock (Grandmaster Flash & The Furious Five were the first rap act to be admitted – and that was last year). I admit I wouldn’t technically classify either as “rock”. On the other hand, rock itself was three or four other genres mashed together, and many of the RnRHOF inductees are more famous for pioneering music that influenced rock rather than being rock themselves. So why not include the sub-genres that rock inspired or played a role in forming? Or genres that originated in parallel (like R&B or soul) and the genres they in turn influenced? I see no reason why Public Enemy shouldn’t be inducted when they become eligible in 2012.
That said, I think we can all agree that whatever rock is, it is NOT Air Supply. Or Kenny G. It is in fact the polar opposite of what they do. I should hope this is obvious and need not be mentioned again.
I blame commercial radio for all the confusion, myself. Radio formats have narrowly shaped music genres over the years, but really, a radio format is basically just a marketing tool to sell a demographic audience to advertisers. I have an FCC operator license, so I can say this.
So maybe it’s just a semantics problem. Maybe we should just simplify the definition of “rock” to: “Any music that gets a federal judge or a Senator’s spouse stoned and sexually aroused”.
Or, if that’s too hardcore, just change the name of the institution. Instead of calling it the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame, it should be changed to The People’s Kick Ass Funk Soul Brother Music Hall Of Awesomeness.
Yes. That will do nicely. I look forward to seeing The Smiths, Social Distortion and Ronnie James Dio inducted into the PKAFSBMHOA in 2009.
When we rock we rock and when we roll we roll,
This is dF
Last month, the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame announced its inductees for 2008: Leonard Cohen, The Dave Clark Five, Madonna, John Mellencamp and The Ventures.
And just when I’m thinking, “Leonard Cohen and Madonna were rock?”, YesButNoButYes calls my attention to Future Rock Hall, a site that tracks all of the artists who are eligible for RnRHOF status (i.e. 25 years have passed since their first record was released) but haven’t yet made it in.
It’s an amazing list of names, really – I would have sworn bands like Kiss and Alice Cooper were already in, or guys like Link Wray. I was surprised to see Lou Reed’s name too, although The Velvet Underground were inducted 12 years ago, so maybe that’s understandable.
Still, inevitably this gets me to thinking about the criteria involved, seeing as how they only induct a handful of people every year. There doesn’t seem to be much in the way of guidelines apart from “trailblazers ... all unique and influential in their genres”. Which leaves it pretty wide open, though the “Fame” element suggests that yr far more likely to see, say, John Mellencamp get the nod than, oh, The Hard-Ons.
And then of course there’s the ultimate question: What is Rock? Is it Madonna? Is it Miles Davis (2006)? Is it Bob Wills & His Texas Playboys (1999)? Is a guitar a minimum requirement? Should Dio have at least done a guest vocal on one track? Or is it simply “the area between the balls and the anus of a dog or of a man” (Turbonegro 2007, p. 11)?
Unsurprisingly, there’s been a lot of bias against rap and disco artists as not being rock (Grandmaster Flash & The Furious Five were the first rap act to be admitted – and that was last year). I admit I wouldn’t technically classify either as “rock”. On the other hand, rock itself was three or four other genres mashed together, and many of the RnRHOF inductees are more famous for pioneering music that influenced rock rather than being rock themselves. So why not include the sub-genres that rock inspired or played a role in forming? Or genres that originated in parallel (like R&B or soul) and the genres they in turn influenced? I see no reason why Public Enemy shouldn’t be inducted when they become eligible in 2012.
That said, I think we can all agree that whatever rock is, it is NOT Air Supply. Or Kenny G. It is in fact the polar opposite of what they do. I should hope this is obvious and need not be mentioned again.
I blame commercial radio for all the confusion, myself. Radio formats have narrowly shaped music genres over the years, but really, a radio format is basically just a marketing tool to sell a demographic audience to advertisers. I have an FCC operator license, so I can say this.
So maybe it’s just a semantics problem. Maybe we should just simplify the definition of “rock” to: “Any music that gets a federal judge or a Senator’s spouse stoned and sexually aroused”.
Or, if that’s too hardcore, just change the name of the institution. Instead of calling it the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame, it should be changed to The People’s Kick Ass Funk Soul Brother Music Hall Of Awesomeness.
Yes. That will do nicely. I look forward to seeing The Smiths, Social Distortion and Ronnie James Dio inducted into the PKAFSBMHOA in 2009.
==========================
BONUS TRAX
TEN BANDS/ARTISTS WHO REALLY SHOULD BE IN THE RnRHOF/PKAFSBMHOA ALREADY
1. Alice Cooper
2. Iron Maiden
3. Iggy Pop/Stooges
4. Motörhead
5. Kiss
6. Link Wray
7. Wanda Jackson
8. The Dead Kennedys
9. Metallica
10. Meat Loaf (for Bat Out Of Hell alone)
DISCLAIMER: I'm not that big a Metallica fan. But in terms of accomplishments, they've earned the right. Though maybe you get points deducted for threatening yr fans with lawsuits. Because that's not very rockinrolls.
TEN RANDOM BANDS/ARTISTS IN MY PERSONAL RnRHOF/PKAFSBMHOA
1. Blue Öyster Cult
2. Sonic Youth
3. Hüsker Dü
4. The Cramps
5. Devo
6. The Modern Lovers
7. Screamin' Jay Hawkins
8. Warren Zevon
9. The Sonics
10. Falco (because he is Falco)
BONUS TRAX
TEN BANDS/ARTISTS WHO REALLY SHOULD BE IN THE RnRHOF/PKAFSBMHOA ALREADY
1. Alice Cooper
2. Iron Maiden
3. Iggy Pop/Stooges
4. Motörhead
5. Kiss
6. Link Wray
7. Wanda Jackson
8. The Dead Kennedys
9. Metallica
10. Meat Loaf (for Bat Out Of Hell alone)
DISCLAIMER: I'm not that big a Metallica fan. But in terms of accomplishments, they've earned the right. Though maybe you get points deducted for threatening yr fans with lawsuits. Because that's not very rockinrolls.
TEN RANDOM BANDS/ARTISTS IN MY PERSONAL RnRHOF/PKAFSBMHOA
1. Blue Öyster Cult
2. Sonic Youth
3. Hüsker Dü
4. The Cramps
5. Devo
6. The Modern Lovers
7. Screamin' Jay Hawkins
8. Warren Zevon
9. The Sonics
10. Falco (because he is Falco)
When we rock we rock and when we roll we roll,
This is dF
