WHAT HAPPENS IN MACAU STAYS IN MACAU

[defrog]

I’m back. And I’ve got a moment. Here’s what you missed:

Not much, actually. I spent the entire time either running about the exhibition floor of The Venetian chasing stories about $950 smartphones or mobile pr0n, or being sequestered in my room at The Landmark writing them, or shuttling somewhere between the two.

This little entry in my notebook (which I barely remember writing during a panel session on “collaborative applications”) is as good a summary of the experience as any:

O help me! Help me! I am melting into the carpet. Someone put methadone in my whiskey. I’d rather be in the casino, but they make you cut yr hair first. Too bad – you can nap there. They encourage it. Keep you just conscious enough to place a bet and you can doze through the rest. Or better yet, get one of those gun molls in leather hot pants and baseball caps to mind yr money while you doze.

Don’t come to close to me, I will erase yr phone memory. People speak but I do not hear them, not as intended. I see spirits having group sex on the stage. It’s the only thing keeping me alive, so I approve, but Jesus aren’t they cold?

Ah the madness. It massages me slowly, undresses me, yes, right here in the Sicily Room as ghost statues watch. According to the police report they found me by the $5 slots wrestling bears for money. Seemed like a good idea at the time – the bears keep you warm. And it gives me purpose. For I have none. They don’t need me here. But so what? I have complimentary mini-bar and breakfast, and Yul Brynner dances on my bed in a g-string. He refuses my tips – yr money is no good here, son, hur hur – for he is generous and I’ve locked his guns in the safe. He’ll never guess the password in a million years.

Ignore that gravity well formulating in yr stomach. That’s normal. It’ll suck you under the waves. Let it. Yr eyes won’t see anymore. You won’t need them. Sleep, dream, shop, and choreograph group sex with Yul Brynner and a cast of thousands. All in a day’s work.

Demented gibberish? Yes. But Macau seems to have that effect on me.

For those who don’t know, Macau is to Asia what Las Vegas is to America. Just about everything Hunter Thompson wrote about Vegas could apply to Macau on some metaphorical level, except that Macau has an older and more interesting history. Las Vegas was never taken over and ruled by Portugal and then returned to China, for example. Also, the food is really good in Macau. (To be fair, I haven’t been to Vegas since 1987, so don’t take my word for it.) Oh, and it makes more money than the Strip.

Other than that, it’s basically a gambling town, infused with that quiet sense of desperation and graft that seems to come with places that promise easy money to the marks and prestige to the high rollers. Granted, that’s mainly in the casinos. Still, it’s not something you want to immerse yrself in for too long, or even stand next to, if you want to hold on to whatever optimism you have left.

But who am I to be critical?

I shouldn’t be so negative, of course. Macau does have a lot going for it – it’s a unique blend of Chinese/Portuguese culture you won’t find anywhere else. It’s also one of the most fun street racing circuits ever. I just missed this year’s Formula 3 Grand Prix, which took place this past weekend. They still hadn’t taken down the guard rails on the streets yet. VROOOOOM!

Just as well. I might have felt as though I was assigned to cover the Mint 400, and then terrible flashbacks would have ensued. Finding yrself in the middle of a Hunter Thompson novel sounds like a good idea until yr Samoan attorney appears naked in yr room freaked out on acid and waving a giant hunting knife in yr face. The novelty wears off after that.

PRODUCTION NOTE: The photo of the Rio was taken from my room.

Delusions of grandeur,

This is dF

Comments

[thelastaerie.livejournal.com]

we'll probably pay it a visit next time J comes back to HK with me. I haven't been to Macau for more than 10 years. I think it would surprise/depress/shock me...

HK residents' ID card still works there, right? And they accept HK money?

At least the food won't disappoint, you got that right.

[def-fr0g-42.livejournal.com]

Yes, yr ID card will still get you in, and they do still accept HK dollars, though ypu'll get yr change back in a mix of patacas and HKD.