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defrogAs you may have guessed, we’re back from the Def Epic US Tour. Yr probably wondering how it went. I have something like 20 pages of notes. Fortunately for you, I’m not going to type them out, and will instead resort to the bloggery equivalent of a highlights reel. And I’ll STILL have to split them up.
EXECUTIVE SUMMARY: dF, Bridal Unit and Mother-In-Law fly to Maryville-Alcoa, TN for the Meeting Of The Moms, with detours to Nashville and Chicago. Drive. Meet old friends and have swell time. Eat extremely unhealthy food.
FLIGHT HIGHLIGHTS
1. Seat-kickers
We had two of them sitting behind us from Hong Kong to Chicago. They were both under two years of age. Their mom did her best to stop them, but unfortunately, she was also part of the problem by having to constantly get up to adjust their seating arrangements and her hips were too wide to do this without bumping our seats. This went on the entire 14 hours.
2. Losing our luggage
Actually, we didn’t lose it – United Airlines did. And technically they knew where it was: in Chicago, with 10,000 other bags stranded because of Winter Evil.
The short version is this: we flew from HK to Chicago, and from there to Knoxville. Fifteen minutes into the second leg, we had to turn around due to “pressurization” problems. Back in O’Hare, we waited a few hours until they decided it the problem was unfixable, and gave us a choice: try to get a standby seat on the last flight to Knoxville, or fly the next day (with hotel accomodations paid for). We made the last flight. Our luggage didn’t. It arrived five days later. Which was problematic mainly in that KT’s mom’s diabetes medicine was in the luggage, so we had to go to the ER on Christmas Day to get her a new prescription. We’re hoping our travel insurance will compensate for the extra expense.
In fairness, too, the woman in charge of baggage for UA at Tyson-McGhee was super-patient and nice about giving us updates and info we needed for the insurance company.
FUN FACT: This is the third time I’ve ever had my luggage go AWOL. Out of 23 years of international travel, that’s pretty good. And only once did I never see my stuff again. (That was the time I missed my connecting flight on El Al Airlines. They don’t hold yr bag for you so much as blow it up in the parking lot out back for safety purposes.)
3. Fun with wheelchairs
Here’s a Def Travel Tip for all of you: when traveling to the US, do whatever you can to bring an old woman in a wheelchair. You will practically whiz right through immigration, customs and security checkpoints.
NOTE: This will not prevent her from undergoing secondary screening if she happens to be a foreigner. Which brings us to:
4. TSA security
Both KT and her mom were declared “selectees” on the return flights. On account of they’re foreigners, I suppose. It might have been random, too. Whatever the reason, there was something grimly comical about watching large TSA officials wanding a 4-foot-tall 81-year-old woman in a wheelchair. Because shit, you never know, she might actually be dangerous.
Still, it could have been worse. She could be a Muslim.
5. In-flight entertainment
There was none. The flight attendant said so. We asked her for a deck of cards and she said, “Sorry, no, we don’t have any entertainment.” She might as well have been talking about the in-flight movies. Maybe I’ve been spoiled by Cathay’s personal backseat screens and 25 channels, but UA has just a main screen and four films – most of which are dull dull dull – except Son Of Rambow, which was interesting, and Ghost Town, which was cliched but funny in places. But still, it’s obvious where their budget cuts have gone.
Up next: what we did in Tennessee.
Fasten yr seat belts low and tight,
This is dF
EXECUTIVE SUMMARY: dF, Bridal Unit and Mother-In-Law fly to Maryville-Alcoa, TN for the Meeting Of The Moms, with detours to Nashville and Chicago. Drive. Meet old friends and have swell time. Eat extremely unhealthy food.
FLIGHT HIGHLIGHTS
1. Seat-kickers
We had two of them sitting behind us from Hong Kong to Chicago. They were both under two years of age. Their mom did her best to stop them, but unfortunately, she was also part of the problem by having to constantly get up to adjust their seating arrangements and her hips were too wide to do this without bumping our seats. This went on the entire 14 hours.
2. Losing our luggage
Actually, we didn’t lose it – United Airlines did. And technically they knew where it was: in Chicago, with 10,000 other bags stranded because of Winter Evil.
The short version is this: we flew from HK to Chicago, and from there to Knoxville. Fifteen minutes into the second leg, we had to turn around due to “pressurization” problems. Back in O’Hare, we waited a few hours until they decided it the problem was unfixable, and gave us a choice: try to get a standby seat on the last flight to Knoxville, or fly the next day (with hotel accomodations paid for). We made the last flight. Our luggage didn’t. It arrived five days later. Which was problematic mainly in that KT’s mom’s diabetes medicine was in the luggage, so we had to go to the ER on Christmas Day to get her a new prescription. We’re hoping our travel insurance will compensate for the extra expense.
In fairness, too, the woman in charge of baggage for UA at Tyson-McGhee was super-patient and nice about giving us updates and info we needed for the insurance company.
FUN FACT: This is the third time I’ve ever had my luggage go AWOL. Out of 23 years of international travel, that’s pretty good. And only once did I never see my stuff again. (That was the time I missed my connecting flight on El Al Airlines. They don’t hold yr bag for you so much as blow it up in the parking lot out back for safety purposes.)
3. Fun with wheelchairs
Here’s a Def Travel Tip for all of you: when traveling to the US, do whatever you can to bring an old woman in a wheelchair. You will practically whiz right through immigration, customs and security checkpoints.
NOTE: This will not prevent her from undergoing secondary screening if she happens to be a foreigner. Which brings us to:
4. TSA security
Both KT and her mom were declared “selectees” on the return flights. On account of they’re foreigners, I suppose. It might have been random, too. Whatever the reason, there was something grimly comical about watching large TSA officials wanding a 4-foot-tall 81-year-old woman in a wheelchair. Because shit, you never know, she might actually be dangerous.
Still, it could have been worse. She could be a Muslim.
5. In-flight entertainment
There was none. The flight attendant said so. We asked her for a deck of cards and she said, “Sorry, no, we don’t have any entertainment.” She might as well have been talking about the in-flight movies. Maybe I’ve been spoiled by Cathay’s personal backseat screens and 25 channels, but UA has just a main screen and four films – most of which are dull dull dull – except Son Of Rambow, which was interesting, and Ghost Town, which was cliched but funny in places. But still, it’s obvious where their budget cuts have gone.
Up next: what we did in Tennessee.
Fasten yr seat belts low and tight,
This is dF
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no subject
on 2009-01-07 09:47 am (UTC)