HERE COME THE BRIDES
May. 22nd, 2009 11:16 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
defrogITEM [via popfiend]: So ... Betty or Veronica?
Archie will supposedly make up his mind in August. After 68 years.
Now, I’m not the biggest Archie fan in the world. Okay, sure, when I was seven, maybe. And only because of the Saturday morning cartoons. But it was there in my immediate pop-culture frame of reference, and over time it dawned on me that (1) Betty and Veronica were pretty hot, if not entirely likable, and (2) Archie was actually somehow dating both of them at once.
Which leaves an impression.
Still, the “Betty vs Veronica” debate never quite registered with me the same way as the, say, “Ginger vs Mary Ann” debate or the more crucial “Jennifer vs Bailey” debate, if only because, as I say, I don’t really like either of them as characters.
But now that we’re confronted with it, here’s my advice to The Arch.
Betty or Veronica?
Dude. It’s a false choice. Marry both of them.
Yes, it’s illegal in every state (especially Maine). So what? When you’ve dithered between two women for 68 years and they still manage to be good friends, there’s really no sense in making a choice. You made the choice years ago. You just didn’t know it yet.
So yes. You might as well make it a threesome and be done with it.
It’s what Dan DeCarlo would have wanted, I’m sure.
DISCLAIMER: My actual prediction is that the Archie people will cop out and have him marry Cheryl Blossom or Sabrina the Teenage Witch or one of the Pussycats or someone from that universe. Or they’ll opt for the old “It was all a crazy dream” scenario.
Or maybe they’ll surprise us all and Archie will marry Jughead. Progress!
Bells will be ringing,
This is dF
Archie will supposedly make up his mind in August. After 68 years.
Now, I’m not the biggest Archie fan in the world. Okay, sure, when I was seven, maybe. And only because of the Saturday morning cartoons. But it was there in my immediate pop-culture frame of reference, and over time it dawned on me that (1) Betty and Veronica were pretty hot, if not entirely likable, and (2) Archie was actually somehow dating both of them at once.
Which leaves an impression.
Still, the “Betty vs Veronica” debate never quite registered with me the same way as the, say, “Ginger vs Mary Ann” debate or the more crucial “Jennifer vs Bailey” debate, if only because, as I say, I don’t really like either of them as characters.
But now that we’re confronted with it, here’s my advice to The Arch.
Betty or Veronica?
Dude. It’s a false choice. Marry both of them.
Yes, it’s illegal in every state (especially Maine). So what? When you’ve dithered between two women for 68 years and they still manage to be good friends, there’s really no sense in making a choice. You made the choice years ago. You just didn’t know it yet.
So yes. You might as well make it a threesome and be done with it.
It’s what Dan DeCarlo would have wanted, I’m sure.
DISCLAIMER: My actual prediction is that the Archie people will cop out and have him marry Cheryl Blossom or Sabrina the Teenage Witch or one of the Pussycats or someone from that universe. Or they’ll opt for the old “It was all a crazy dream” scenario.
Or maybe they’ll surprise us all and Archie will marry Jughead. Progress!
Bells will be ringing,
This is dF
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You might as well make it a threesome and be done with it
on 2009-05-22 03:29 pm (UTC)Re: You might as well make it a threesome and be done with it
on 2009-05-22 03:45 pm (UTC)Well done. :)
Re: You might as well make it a threesome and be done with it
on 2009-05-22 03:48 pm (UTC)b) I have way too much time on my hands procrastinating in the home office
c) I like to make people laugh
d) all of the above