KILL YR IDOLS

[defrog]

ITEM: Simon Cowell is quitting as a judge on American Idol. His potential replacement: Howard Stern.

“There’s not a better job on the planet than judging that f---ing karaoke contest,” Stern said.

“It might be possible, we’ll see,” he said, adding: “They’d have to pay me a ton of dough because I already make a ton of dough.”

DISCLAIMER: I don’t watch American Idol or any of these so-called talent shows. Train wrecks generally don’t interest me and I can’t name a single winner that ever impressed me apart from Adam Lambert, and that was only for kissing a guy on national television.

And I can’t say that getting more interesting judges would help. I’m not saying it wouldn’t be funny to see, say, Henry Rollins rip into some of these people. On the other hand, if he did, I might have less respect for him than I do.

Stern wouldn’t be much of a hook for me, either. I think he’s good at what he does and he’ll go down in broadcasting history as one of the legends of the business, but I don’t particularly like listening to him.

And anyway, I’ll only be impressed if he brings the Sybian.

Or better yet, the tongue chainsaw.

Which not even Fox would let him do. So there’s not much point.

EXTREME WARNING: The Sybian and tongue chainsaw links are not only NSFW, they’re also potentially offensive even to an open-minded, worldly cosmopolitan lot like yrselves. The links are provided for documentation purposes only.

Do NOT click on them. EVER.

Seriously. Don’t do it.

Unless you want to see female ejaculation and Carmen Electra getting hot and bothered, that is. Then be my guest. Unless you live in Australia, in which watching them is against the law.

You’ve been warned.

Open mike,

This is dF

Comments

[jasonfranks.livejournal.com]

I clicked the links. I guess the cops are on their way.

-- JF