IS ANYONE HERE FROM PLANET EARTH?
Mar. 18th, 2010 10:54 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
defrogFACT: I have never fought in the Sex Wars.
Which is to say, I’ve never really bought into the pop-psych-culture premise that men and women are socioculturally polarized to the point of inevitable friction, and that both sides only really put up with each other because the alternatives are loneliness and/or never having sex again unless yr at least bi-curious.
The whole Men & Woman Just Don’t Get Each Other trip is the basis for almost every sitcom and romcom made since the 1950s, as well as a staple of daytime television talk shows and self-help books. And it’s a mentality I’ve never really understood. For years, I’ve been trying to think of a way to articulate this.
Thankfully,![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
figmentj has done it for me with this post.
The executive summary goes like this (and I'm paraphrasing here):
Yes, men and women are different. Obviously. So can we please get the fuck over it, take it as read and move on to the real mysteries of life and relationships instead of rehashing the same old stereotypical Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus ground with indignant outrage as though it’s news and the only solution is to bring the other side under control?
The only thing I can add is that none of this should be a surprise to anyone who has even the vaguest idea of our origins. I think the reason so many people have unrealistic expectations about love, sex and gender relations in the 21st Century is because we’ve basically taken millions of years of evolutionary programming and layered on one complex strata of social mores, superstition and morality on top of another. Result: we’ve taken the simplest, most natural act there is and buried it under an insanely complicated matrix of sociological procedures and traditions riddled with shame, guilt, ideology, drama, superstition and politics.
It’s what separates us from the beasts, you see.
Anyway, yes. Go read that.figmentj is wise.
Make love not war,
This is dF
Which is to say, I’ve never really bought into the pop-psych-culture premise that men and women are socioculturally polarized to the point of inevitable friction, and that both sides only really put up with each other because the alternatives are loneliness and/or never having sex again unless yr at least bi-curious.
The whole Men & Woman Just Don’t Get Each Other trip is the basis for almost every sitcom and romcom made since the 1950s, as well as a staple of daytime television talk shows and self-help books. And it’s a mentality I’ve never really understood. For years, I’ve been trying to think of a way to articulate this.
Thankfully,
figmentj has done it for me with this post. The executive summary goes like this (and I'm paraphrasing here):
Yes, men and women are different. Obviously. So can we please get the fuck over it, take it as read and move on to the real mysteries of life and relationships instead of rehashing the same old stereotypical Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus ground with indignant outrage as though it’s news and the only solution is to bring the other side under control?
The only thing I can add is that none of this should be a surprise to anyone who has even the vaguest idea of our origins. I think the reason so many people have unrealistic expectations about love, sex and gender relations in the 21st Century is because we’ve basically taken millions of years of evolutionary programming and layered on one complex strata of social mores, superstition and morality on top of another. Result: we’ve taken the simplest, most natural act there is and buried it under an insanely complicated matrix of sociological procedures and traditions riddled with shame, guilt, ideology, drama, superstition and politics.
It’s what separates us from the beasts, you see.
Anyway, yes. Go read that.
figmentj is wise.Make love not war,
This is dF
