CLUSTER BOMBS: NOW SAFE FOR CHILDREN

Yr headline of the day:



As a peacetime combat veteran, I naturally find this grimly amusing.

What they mean by “less deadly”, of course, is “more reliable”. The problem with cluster bombs is that they have a failure rate of anywhere between 5% and 30%. Which means that whenever you drop them, you end up with hundreds of unexploded bombs lying around populated areas that eventually kill tens of thousands of civilians a year – a quarter of them children [PDF].

Which is why 111 countries have adopted a treaty banning them.

The US is not one of them. Because how can you defend freedom if you can’t carpet-bomb a village where teh Terrors might be hiding?

So the Pentagon will fix this by designing cluster bombs with a max failure rate of 1%. So that way, instead of killing or maiming tens of thousands of innocent people, UXCBs will only kill or main thousands of them.

Progress!

FUN FACT: To be fair, the US isn’t the only country that refuses to ban cluster bombs. The others are: Russia, China, Israel, India and Pakistan.

Bombs away,

This is dF

READY TEDDY

ITEM [via YesButNoButYes]: While yr all waiting for yr sex robots of the future, here’s something to tide you over: Teddy Babes – for “boys too BIG for Teddy Bears”.



Yes. It’s been that kind of day.

Recommended for plushophiles who could never rationalize the bestiality angle. Or the distinguished customer who finds Realdolls too creepy (or possibly not creepy enough – in which case they haven’t seen the anime sex doll yet).

For the rest of you, yr best entertainment value may be the (possibly unintentionally) hilarious FAQ [sample follows]:

Q: What are her breasts like?
A: Teddy Babe's breasts are full and soft. The nipples are made of the same velvety plush material and are soft and kissable.
Q: What is her butt like?
A: Teddy Babe's rear-end is round and sexy. It's very squeezable and "spankable."
Q: So, I can have sex with my Teddy Babe love doll?
A: Each Teddy Babe love doll has a plush vagina, complete with simulated pubic hair and an ultra-silky plush insert, which we affectionately refer to as "Pussy Velour."
Q: Is the plush insert leak resistant?
A:To an extent, yes. Some dampness may seep through.

Oh, and they have a special vampire edition. With bat-shaped pubic hair.



CAVEAT: Gothic gown and spider-web stockings sold separately.

FUN FACT: If I ever start another band, "Pussy Velour" is on my band-name short list.

Stuff me up,

This is dF

WALL-E: LIBERAL FASCIST

ITEM: Wall-E is a box office smash and a critical success. Unless yr a conservative blogger. Then it’s blatant Communist propaganda:

Shannen Coffin: My kids were bombarded with leftist propaganda about the evils of mankind!

Greg Pollowitz: A 90-minute lecture on the dangers of over consumption, big corporations, and the destruction of the environment! Boycott!

Glenn Beck: If your kid has ever come home and said, “Dad, how come we use so much styrofoam,” oh, this is the movie for you. It's a frickin' global warming movie!

Dirty Harry: Liberal nonsense!

Jonah Goldberg: The Malthusian fear mongering was annoying!

Unless you ask Patrick J. Ford of The American Conservative, in which case it’s actually a pro-conservative film that champions small-town values and warns against the evils of Big Government.

Or, you know, maybe it’s just a f***ing film about a lonely robot in a post-human world.

A radical concept, I know. I’m just saying, odds are that’s how yr fragile, impressionable little children are probably going to interpret it.

Either way, it’s on my to-do list.

Political science,

This is dF